My Dad is pushing me to date/marry a guy [F18]

Hey guys. I have just started college as a freshman and it has only been a couple of months since I left home. My dad my whole life has always been adamant about me not dating boys until 16, but when the age came he was still on edge whenever I even mentioned a boy, be it a friend or someone I had to work on a project with. So my dating life as been nonexistent and because I was not aloud to hang out with boys I don’t really know how to interact with them naturally like some of my friends do.

Anyways, I am super oblivious to somethings until the answer is basically handed to me on a silver-platter so when my dad started introducing me to a guy over and over again I did not think much of it. But now I have seen this guy multiple times and we have been pushed into awkward convos for a long time while our parent went to go talk for a bit. It is super awkward and I think the guy is just as confused as I am about our parents wanting us to talk. Until one day I was so happy to see a familiar face on campus and called my dad excitedly telling him that I had finally seen someone familiar on campus. The person I saw was that guy that my dad wanted me to talk to.

Btw this guy is like 22 and on his first year of grad school so not old but considerably older for the age that I am right now. Or at least in my opinion.

Anyways, when I told my dad that it was the guy he was like you should go talk to him and seemed a little peeved that I missed the opportunity to talk with this guy that I barely know and have nothing in common with beside going to the same school. Then when my dad said, “he is really nice guy who takes care of his dad all while being in graduate school for his engineering degree. That is the type of man that I want to see you date” and then it had all clicked. All those times where this guy’s mom pulled me over to chat with her son or my dad told me to check out this guys ring or some random excuse. It was all to try to put me and this guy together. And then after my dad on the phone told me that he wanted to see me date a man like him, he also said that he wanted to see me settle down after college and that he wanted to see grand babies from me before he died.

I was kinda flabbergasted and uncomfortable with the whole situation and I told him, while trying to act nice, that I was not interested in dating at the moment and already had so much to deal with as a first year in biology and participating in clubs and etc.

But he then told me that he at least wanted to see me have a couple guy friends and give him a try since he is paying for my four year and says that it will give me the full experience that he is paying for. He has already threatened me before with pulling me out of college when I was struggling to make friends saying that if I did not make friends in the next month that he was going to pull me out of school. I got worried and frantically met some people that I don’t even fully like just so I could stay in school.

And now I am worried that this suggestion of dating someone like this guy he was pushing onto me, is going to turn into more of an order and he is going to to force me to date and marry someone. All because I need his money to get through college because my mom is financially struggling and so I need to rely on him.

I live in the US where marrying/dating someone is not even seen as a must here so I don’t understand why my dad is all of a sudden so persistent about getting me to meet someone when I still consider myself young.

Anyways, any thoughts on how I can get out of this situation?

Submitted November 06, 2022 at 01:13AM

Hey guys. I have just started college as a freshman and it has only been a couple of months since I left home. My dad my whole life has always been adamant about me not dating boys until 16, but when the age came he was still on edge whenever I even mentioned a boy, be it a friend or someone I had to work on a project with. So my dating life as been nonexistent and because I was not aloud to hang out with boys I don’t really know how to interact with them naturally like some of my friends do.Anyways, I am super oblivious to somethings until the answer is basically handed to me on a silver-platter so when my dad started introducing me to a guy over and over again I did not think much of it. But now I have seen this guy multiple times and we have been pushed into awkward convos for a long time while our parent went to go talk for a bit. It is super awkward and I think the guy is just as confused as I am about our parents wanting us to talk. Until one day I was so happy to see a familiar face on campus and called my dad excitedly telling him that I had finally seen someone familiar on campus. The person I saw was that guy that my dad wanted me to talk to.Btw this guy is like 22 and on his first year of grad school so not old but considerably older for the age that I am right now. Or at least in my opinion.Anyways, when I told my dad that it was the guy he was like you should go talk to him and seemed a little peeved that I missed the opportunity to talk with this guy that I barely know and have nothing in common with beside going to the same school. Then when my dad said, “he is really nice guy who takes care of his dad all while being in graduate school for his engineering degree. That is the type of man that I want to see you date” and then it had all clicked. All those times where this guy’s mom pulled me over to chat with her son or my dad told me to check out this guys ring or some random excuse. It was all to try to put me and this guy together. And then after my dad on the phone told me that he wanted to see me date a man like him, he also said that he wanted to see me settle down after college and that he wanted to see grand babies from me before he died.I was kinda flabbergasted and uncomfortable with the whole situation and I told him, while trying to act nice, that I was not interested in dating at the moment and already had so much to deal with as a first year in biology and participating in clubs and etc.But he then told me that he at least wanted to see me have a couple guy friends and give him a try since he is paying for my four year and says that it will give me the full experience that he is paying for. He has already threatened me before with pulling me out of college when I was struggling to make friends saying that if I did not make friends in the next month that he was going to pull me out of school. I got worried and frantically met some people that I don’t even fully like just so I could stay in school.And now I am worried that this suggestion of dating someone like this guy he was pushing onto me, is going to turn into more of an order and he is going to to force me to date and marry someone. All because I need his money to get through college because my mom is financially struggling and so I need to rely on him.I live in the US where marrying/dating someone is not even seen as a must here so I don’t understand why my dad is all of a sudden so persistent about getting me to meet someone when I still consider myself young.Anyways, any thoughts on how I can get out of this situation?