Was this man ever interested or was he simply playing games the whole time?

I feel like this guy completely wasted my time and I still have no proper answers as to why he has so much attitude towards me and what his true intentions really were.

Matched him on an app not long before the pandemic began, so just over two years. During that time period he was making lots of effort and he stated he's genuinely looking for something serious/a relationship. But I was busy with work and life etc, so didn't put in as much effort. Basically he seemed more intentional and I wasnt. But then not long after I realised I needed to actually try to get to know the guy more as otherwise whats the point of being on an app and I was interested enough to do so. For some reason it just never worked out after that . We never managed to be on the same page. And obviously the pandemic and multiple lockdowns hit and caused problems with regards to being able to actually meet the guy properly.m

We kept disconnecting then reconnecting. He kept coming out with the same lines i.e he doesnt want to be a pen pal or texting friend because he doesn't have the time and kept asking me what I want

Last year September had a video call for the first time, previous to then we'd only seen photos of one another. It went well imo. Spoke for about two hours via video. He was teasing me and flirting. Seemed interested in my life and vice versa. Then asked me when am i going to take him out for a coffee ( i.e asking me out), I responded saying a weekend would be good. There wasnt an actual date set like this saturday/ sunday coming up. I just assumed any weekend would be fine. He said ok I'll come to you, make sure it's not too far down. ( he lives about n hour and a half drive away). Then he said he'll probably come in the evening once he's completed tasks in the day, and asked me how long I can stay out, so from the sounds of it he didn't mind spending a few hours or more in my company. At the end of the call he said we've finally broken the ice

After the two hour chat, it just went downhill . Two weekends went by he didn't say anything, neither did I. I was not feeling well the following week so i thought best just wait and other things came up. But I was looking up good places for us to go meanwhile an have coffee. So two and a half weeks after I called to arrange a proper time to meet and he completely ignored my calls and messages. I messaged on WhatsApp saying we should meet, he ignored. I called about four times, the last two calls it seemed like he purposely rejected them. I just thought at that point we'd been speaking for ages, and after not meeting for so long due to all the lockdowns, why not just actually get it done finally. I then texted apologising for the fact we didnt meet straight after our videochat. I just assumed maybe he was annoyed or something. But i explained i wasnt well and a couple other reasons and just said it would be nice to meet finally. Again i just got blanked. Obviously after that I gave up. I tried my bes

Following that, I called after Christmas in Jan. A few months went by and I thought let me see if he gives me some kind of explanation for why he acted that way. See if he picks the phone at least and what hes been doing. I was honestly just curious as he's the one whos brought up meetings himself multiples times, even before the videochat, and when the opportunity presented itself, why did he flake

It was pointless in the end as he didnt mention one thing about it, acted totally normal. I was dumb enough to not directly ask him either We spoke normally for two hours, both acted as if everything was good, he asked me what id been upto and that was that.

two months late we engaged again. Also thought may bring up us meeting myself as the weather was getting better. But this time would be me rather than him. Of course I didnt get to bring up any of that. First half an hour he seemed normal with me, told me he ended up with the covid virus so was cooped up at home. Then went onto telling me what was going on in his life Work wise etc. Couple times he asked how comes you called, more than once I'd say. I then said to see how you are a check in, he was like thanks I appreciate it. I thought id be curious and ask if hes still on the app, he said no don't have time too busy, I said well most people i know delete the app if they don't use it or don't have time ( i only asked because i asked another time and he said the exact same thing ). I've forgotten the exact order in what happened next but either he asked me first when am i going to "settle down" or I asked him. But i think it may have been he asked me first when am i going to "settle down”. All i said was when i find someone suitable. He said that makes sense. Then I must have asked him and he said "i have something sorted" or "something in the pipeline". I was a little taken aback. I didn't show it though. I said tell me about it, he said no i haven’t told my friends yet and i don’t want to ruin it. I said pretend im your friend and he kept repeatedly saying no

I have no idea what came over him after that but intermittently for the rest of the conversation which was another hour he was contemptuous, rude, demeaning, condescending and seemed like he was really angry. Well the anger was like on and off, who knows what was happening. I've never seen him be like that before continuously ( and we've spoken on the phone at least 13 times for hours), I said to him it seems like you hate me or something and he kept saying oh no I dont hate you. but his choice of words, tone and attitude certainly suggested otherwise

First we were talking about how he couldnt hear me that well, and there's a delay, he said I dont know if youre slow or if its your phone/headset. He told me to go on a website so he could show me what headset he uses, he snapped and said why is it taking you so long hurry up. Then he used the phonetic alphabet instead of spelling out the word, i said just spell it out its easier and he said no even my younger 10 yr old brother could do this. After several attempts finally i got wht he was trying to say, he kept insinuating i was stupid basically. It came across like he was attempting to belittle me there.I asked him to buy me the headset ( since he kept complaining about my equipment) he said guess what im not your father. He asked me if I can drive and told me not to ever attempt to as ill probably cause accidents .

Then he asked about my work and wht else ive been upto. He started talking about him giving money to his local charity, one which is in his local area. I asked where it is again, he said hes not going to tell me that. Then he was like i never ask you where youre from, because I don't care. He said he doesn't care a few times after rando

It continued. He said he's only speaking to me now because hes trying to help me. In other words he was implying there's no other reason he would speak to me other than because he wants to help as if im some charity case. Hes like why do you think i never called you all this time, its because i had better options than you, I've rejected people better than you before. I honestly had no idea why he was saying all this stuff but it wasn't a great experience. I said well you seemed ok before, and he said well i changed my mind. He mentioned the time we were meant to meet and said he changed his mind and its like how you cancel on your friends sometimes. Then he started talking about how as I age and the more i age im going to be worthless and he would never consider me if I came to him i.e to his doorstep in a few years he would close the door on me. How now he wants someone five years younger than him ( im nearer his age).. and he wants to create a legacy and have about 6 children. He wants someone who can help him to expand and be better and elevate him.

Then he asked me why would I want you what can you offer me. I think no matter what i said he would shut it down anyway. I was speechless at his behaviour So i couldn't really fight my corner that well. He just kept repeating he had better and there's better women. He said speaking to me is like a chore and im slow, and the convo doesn't flow. Others have more of a sense of humour and great personalities. So everything which never bothered him before was suddenly bothering him now. I mean if speaking to me was such a chore why could he speak to me for several hours before on the phone. He also told me to shut the hell up when i tried to defend myself. And said he doesn't like to swear but i keep talking over him. Even though hes alright to talk over me all the time. Then hes like i give him such a headache he could never be with me or marry me as speaking to me for one minute gives him a headache.

I forgot to mention he talked about how hypersexualised everything is now because of po*n. I think he was implying he doesn't see me as attractive enough to be with. I'm only assuming. Again he had no issues before, he saw my photos, saw me on video chat etc. I told him i get chatted up a lot when i go out, he replied in his childish way and said "i dont care" and said theres a name for that and called me a very derogatory name for women. ( a slu*)

Anyways i was seriously speechless by the end at the treatment id received. He said in between insulting and demeaning me that he does care about me and that's why hes trying to help me. I was seriously puzzled. Then the convo ended with him asking me for a favour to do with his work, i said ill get back to you. He was like tell me a yes or a no in an aggressive tone. So after everything he said he still had the balls to ask me for a favour before telling me he will block after the favour.

Tl:dr

;

matched with someone , he mentioned he wanted to meet more than once over the pandemic period, couldn't due to that. Finally agreed last year end of summer, he came up with the idea and told me to find a place but no actual date was set. A few weeks later got back to him and he ignored all forms of contact. I let it go, then decided to contact again and spoke to him recently for a few hours..and he was completely normal then switched halfway and started calling me names, saying the only reason he never contacted me after our arrangement to meet was because he changed his mind and found better and always had better options. Insulted me for an hour, said he could never be with someone like me and i give him a headache, and just went on and on and on. Before at the end saying he will block me forever. It was totally unprovoked in my opinion and hes never been this aggressive towards me. Also he kept saying he doesn't care over and over again whenever i would reply to questions he himself asked. But it just sounded like he was really angry and wanted to hurt me or something. (Im assuming)

It was so strange the way he was completely normal with me at the start and then did a 180 and started getting personal and calling me worthless. I didn't do anything to him. Its baffling how interested he seemed to meet me before and kept talking about it, but now he suddenly didnt see me as worthy of meeting. But he had no problems speaking to me for hours and hours on end before either.

5 months later which is now two days ago this is what occurred:

I called to clear the air and find out a little behind why he was so irate with me previously and what his intentions were all along. I called him, he didnt pick up. I then sent a message on Facebook, asking him to give me a call as I'd like to have a chat. Here is how it went:

Him : hi (my name), what do you want from me

Me : there's a couple of things I'd like to speak to you about

Him: Like?

Me: just wanted to know if you're ok and some other things.

Him: Like what

Me: Call me

Him: a brief summary

Me: its a lot to say on here, its to clear some things up, clarity etc.

I’ve known you a while so thought it would be best to do so.

Him: you looking for closure or want something more. Theres nothing wrong in leaving things the way they are.

Me: it is wrong

Him: its not a big deal. What do you really want. You're behaving like you want me.

Me: i see nothings changed. You haven't evolved.

Him: are you out of touch. I don't need to go along with your demands.

Then he ended up calling me on my number. We spoke for approximately 20 minutes.

This is how it went:

Him: How can i help you

Me: how are you

Him: skip the small talk, is it ok if we just get straight to the point please.

Me: why are you so hostile

Him: im not being hostile at all ( yes he was his tone of voice etc)..You're the one reaching out to me so how can i help you?

Me: im asking you why are you so hostile

Him: and im asking you how can i help you im trying to be polite here

Me: youre being short and rude.

Him : oh sorry what would you like me to do then.

Me: explain why you have an attitude

Him: i dont need to explain anything to you, you're not my parents or my work supervisor.

Me: yes but ive known you for a while though haven't i.

Him: im listening

Me: what you been up to

Him: I've been upto a few things, im not in a

position to tell you its a bit personal

Me: whats with the attitude

Him: can you get to the bottom of it

Me: we can't speak like this, can you try to chill out ( my way of saying i cnt speak to him when he sounds irritated basically)

Him : this is me chilled out im short on time, will need to go to work in a number of hours.

Me: no seriously though ive been wondering what you've been upto ( i wanted to talk to him on a friendly level first before getting to the stuff i really wanted to talk about i.e regarding the previous convo 5/6 months ago.)

Him: why would you be wondering, im a nobody to you so i dont know why you'd be thinking that deeply.

Me: who says im thinking deeply, maybe it was a spare of the moment thing like let me see how he is.

Him: ok what would you like from me how can i help you

Me: so. The last time i spoke to you, you called me certain derogatory names and terms (i was referring to slu\\\\\\\* and the worthless useless etc) . You called me worthless and useless.

Him: i dont remember that's an old story was a long time ago.

Ok so what would you like from me now?

Me: id like to know why that was

Him: ok would you like an apology

Me: i would like an apology and i want to know why

Him: i dont remember why, not being funny

Me: of course you don't, you've obviously got a short term memory

Him: yeah thanks for clarifying, so I do apologise, is that ok now?

Me: No

Him: what do you want, ok ive apologised, next step what else do you want?

Me: so you don't remember any of that conversation then.

Him: no ive completely forgotten about it, i dont give a shi* about that conversation it was so long ago, i move on.

Me: ok so what have you been up to lately. ( i thought since he said he forgot and doesnt give a s\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*, what's the point, hard to believe he would be that pissed with me and completely forget why)

Him: im not at liberty to discuss that

Me: why not

Him: because i dont want to, its my right. Why do you want to know my business. Did i ask you what youve been upto.

Me: what's that got to do with anything you can ask, if you want, id have no problems

Him: i didnt ask you know why, because i dont give a s***. So i dont know why you feel the need to ask. It wont effect your life in any way, wont impact it, so why do you ask

Me: how do you know it wont

Him: look what do you want are you expecting marriage. Is that what you want.

Me: no i think its a bit too late for that.

Him: ok im glad you've come to that realisation, thankfully ( don't know what he meant by that when all along he was the one who talked about settling down all the time, never me).

Me: what do you mean by that

Him: never mind.

Me: i want to know why you have an attitude with me

Him: have you thought for a second just leave it as it is and move on. Some things are best to leave it as it is.

Me: yea but who says i haven't moved on.

Him: but you want to talk to me

Me: but speaking to someone doesn't mean i haven't moved on. I could still be speaking to you and still have had things going on in my life

Him: yeah that's fine, same goes for every person on this planet, you're not saying anything that's revolutionary or brand new.

Me: just be real, why do you have such an

attitude.

Him: why are you so upset about my attitude. What do you, what do you want from me.

You're lucky im giving you time.

What is you want, why are you reaching out to me. What are you trying to achieve, what do you want.

Is it your intentions to rekindle old times? What is it?

Me: it was a mixture of things yeah.

Him: ok we're getting somewhere. Blurt it out, say it as it is, lets not beat around the bush. What is it you want

Him: do you want to maintain a conversation with me, do you want to carry on talking to me is that what it is?

Me: yeah i want to carry on talking to you

Him: why because i dont want to talk to you so why so do you want to talk to me, im a busy man, ive got so many responsibilities, to be honest speaking to you is honestly a waste of my time. So why do you want to speak to me?

Normally a person would peacefully part ways, respect boundaries etc and go separate ways. ( i ws thinking right on which planet did he think we peacefully part ways, he yelled at me on the phone for three hours and disrespected me as per my previous post. I was calm and collectdd thr last we spoke, he called me names like slu\* and went on for hours about how he had better options than me and how useless and worthless i was)

Me: ok the truth is,

Him: ive given you the apology so hopefully you should be at peace with that.

Me: that was hardly anything but ok

Him: ok

Me: i just feel like, I think youve been a bit of a manipulator, this whole time.

Him: ok right

Me: because

Him: ok what did i force you to do

Me: its not about force, just thinking about it your behaviour has been quite off, overall its been quite manipulative.

Him: ok thats fine, have you bothered to go out and find another man

Me: how do you know i haven't

Him: im hoping there's another man in your life

Me: actually there is ( i just meant someone im casually speaking to)

Him: well can you go be busy with him then, i dont know why you want to talk to me all the time

Me: its the one time

Him: you've got a man so why are you talking to me what do you want from me

Me: hes not my man, hes someone im speaking to, theres no formal label

Him: ok im glad youre making progress

Me: what about you

Him: you should give up asking about my life, im not going to tell you anything, its not a concern of yours, a private life is a happy life as they say

Me: ok whatever, i just feel like you always have a stick up your as*

Him: why do you want to keep contact, what are you hoping to achieve?

Isn't he enough to satisfy you?

Me: I like to have many people on the go ( from this point on i couldnt be bothered with his attitude anymore, so i said whatever i felt like true or not, obviously i dont like speaking to multiple people at the same time)

Him: oh really oh wow theres a word for that but im not going to say it.

Me: i think you already said it though a while ago

Him: ok, so how can i help you, what does he not have that i have? That you want from me

Me: every person has their pros and cons dont they, so you may have certain things that they might not have. ( again i was just finding it hilarious at this point and had given up saying anything of substance so i thought let me just for a laugh let him think im interested in him.

Him: right, so what does he not have that i do.

Me: i don't know, like charisma

Him: right, that's something that can't be taught, you either have it or you don't.

Are you saying you fancy me more than him

Me: *silence for a minute*

Him: ill take that as a yes.

Me: yeah

Him: ok and what would you like me to do about it

Me: whatever you want do to

Him: mmhmm, oh whatever i want to do

Silence again for a minute l

Him: lets not beat around the bush, what would you like from me.

Me: don't you think it was a waste of time speaking to you for so long and not actually meeting

Him: and you think it doesn't happen with other people. its pretty common

Him: to me it seems like because you think we've spoken for a long time you feel like i owe you something, for that time you've invested in me or i've invested in you. Seems like you want a return on your investment or something

Me: yeah to be honest i feel like it was an epic waste of time otherwise.

Him: ok so what would you want from me

I get an impression that what you want from me is you'd like to meet up with me and speak to me more. Am i wrong or am i right?

Me: yeah youre right

Him: ok and if that did happen are you hoping for things to progress further between you and me

Me: well yeah

Him: what if i told you right now im actually speak err with someone now (he was going to say speaking but ended up saying with, i dont know if that's a mistake or hes lying as there's a huge difference between being with someone and speaking to someone) would you still carry on on that path?

Me: yeah i wouldn't care to be honest

Him: seriously, there's a word for that

Me: i dont really care about anyone else, just care about myself.

Him: ok so

Me: give me a sec i went to get some water

Him: so even if im with someone now you don't care

Me: no

Him: well some might say that's selfish.

Me: well you're pretty selfish as well so i guess we're all the same

Him: yeah i am everyones selfish to a certain degree, yes of course

If you're trying to imply im selfish in the sense im with someone and im not going to give you the opportunity or time of the day because im with someone then i suppose from your point of view you might think im being selfish

Me: no i mean overall youre quite selfish so i dont really see why i need to give you that empathy that i normally would other people

Him: i didnt ask for any empathy at all whatsoever.

Me: you just said im selfish.

Him: everyone is to a certain degree

Him: look what is it you want, are you hoping for a relationship between you and me

Me: just see how things go

Him: and what if i refuse

Me: then it will be your loss i guess

Him: it depends on everyones perspective, thats fine, yeah it is my loss, that's not a problem at all, but im ok with that

Im willing to bet, you haven't come to terms with the fact we've stopped talking, i get the impression you tried to speak to others and they're not meeting your expectations so its like youre coming running back to me. Even though we barely spoke, i personally don't think i have much rapport with you ive got nothing against you really

Me: ok you've got nothing against me but everytime i speak to you you have this huge chip on your shoulder. So you clearly do

Him: that's part of my personality

;

Me: i dont think that's true, maybe you were being fake then this whole time..

;

Him: if im fake then why are you speaking to me.

Me: its a one time thing, i called you once after 5 months

Him: i wish you luck in life, and your endeavours, have a good one and i've really got to go now. Take care bye.

And that was that really.

So i didn't really get proper answers for why he lost control and got angry and personal towards me during our last conversation as he claims to have forgotten why but i suppose he gave some kind of half hearted apology.

And i also got no answers for why he kept going on about wanting to settle down all these years, specifically to me, and about wanting to meet up and implying i wasnt taking it seriously by repeatedly saying he doesnt want a texting pen pal.

But when i did try ( my version of trying, he acted hot and cold)

Now he's trying to minimise it and act like he never had anything against me and saying he had very little rapport with me.

If that was the case why even attempt to meet me at all, why even bother engaging with me and having 3/4 hour conversations, why even bother asking me to see him.

He is strange. He basically wasted my time

Submitted October 07, 2022 at 01:15AM

I feel like this guy completely wasted my time and I still have no proper answers as to why he has so much attitude towards me and what his true intentions really were.Matched him on an app not long before the pandemic began, so just over two years. During that time period he was making lots of effort and he stated he's genuinely looking for something serious/a relationship. But I was busy with work and life etc, so didn't put in as much effort. Basically he seemed more intentional and I wasnt. But then not long after I realised I needed to actually try to get to know the guy more as otherwise whats the point of being on an app and I was interested enough to do so. For some reason it just never worked out after that . We never managed to be on the same page. And obviously the pandemic and multiple lockdowns hit and caused problems with regards to being able to actually meet the guy properly.mWe kept disconnecting then reconnecting. He kept coming out with the same lines i.e he doesnt want to be a pen pal or texting friend because he doesn't have the time and kept asking me what I wantLast year September had a video call for the first time, previous to then we'd only seen photos of one another. It went well imo. Spoke for about two hours via video. He was teasing me and flirting. Seemed interested in my life and vice versa. Then asked me when am i going to take him out for a coffee ( i.e asking me out), I responded saying a weekend would be good. There wasnt an actual date set like this saturday/ sunday coming up. I just assumed any weekend would be fine. He said ok I'll come to you, make sure it's not too far down. ( he lives about n hour and a half drive away). Then he said he'll probably come in the evening once he's completed tasks in the day, and asked me how long I can stay out, so from the sounds of it he didn't mind spending a few hours or more in my company. At the end of the call he said we've finally broken the iceAfter the two hour chat, it just went downhill . Two weekends went by he didn't say anything, neither did I. I was not feeling well the following week so i thought best just wait and other things came up. But I was looking up good places for us to go meanwhile an have coffee. So two and a half weeks after I called to arrange a proper time to meet and he completely ignored my calls and messages. I messaged on WhatsApp saying we should meet, he ignored. I called about four times, the last two calls it seemed like he purposely rejected them. I just thought at that point we'd been speaking for ages, and after not meeting for so long due to all the lockdowns, why not just actually get it done finally. I then texted apologising for the fact we didnt meet straight after our videochat. I just assumed maybe he was annoyed or something. But i explained i wasnt well and a couple other reasons and just said it would be nice to meet finally. Again i just got blanked. Obviously after that I gave up. I tried my besFollowing that, I called after Christmas in Jan. A few months went by and I thought let me see if he gives me some kind of explanation for why he acted that way. See if he picks the phone at least and what hes been doing. I was honestly just curious as he's the one whos brought up meetings himself multiples times, even before the videochat, and when the opportunity presented itself, why did he flakeIt was pointless in the end as he didnt mention one thing about it, acted totally normal. I was dumb enough to not directly ask him either We spoke normally for two hours, both acted as if everything was good, he asked me what id been upto and that was that.two months late we engaged again. Also thought may bring up us meeting myself as the weather was getting better. But this time would be me rather than him. Of course I didnt get to bring up any of that. First half an hour he seemed normal with me, told me he ended up with the covid virus so was cooped up at home. Then went onto telling me what was going on in his life Work wise etc. Couple times he asked how comes you called, more than once I'd say. I then said to see how you are a check in, he was like thanks I appreciate it. I thought id be curious and ask if hes still on the app, he said no don't have time too busy, I said well most people i know delete the app if they don't use it or don't have time ( i only asked because i asked another time and he said the exact same thing ). I've forgotten the exact order in what happened next but either he asked me first when am i going to "settle down" or I asked him. But i think it may have been he asked me first when am i going to "settle down”. All i said was when i find someone suitable. He said that makes sense. Then I must have asked him and he said "i have something sorted" or "something in the pipeline". I was a little taken aback. I didn't show it though. I said tell me about it, he said no i haven’t told my friends yet and i don’t want to ruin it. I said pretend im your friend and he kept repeatedly saying noI have no idea what came over him after that but intermittently for the rest of the conversation which was another hour he was contemptuous, rude, demeaning, condescending and seemed like he was really angry. Well the anger was like on and off, who knows what was happening. I've never seen him be like that before continuously ( and we've spoken on the phone at least 13 times for hours), I said to him it seems like you hate me or something and he kept saying oh no I dont hate you. but his choice of words, tone and attitude certainly suggested otherwiseFirst we were talking about how he couldnt hear me that well, and there's a delay, he said I dont know if youre slow or if its your phone/headset. He told me to go on a website so he could show me what headset he uses, he snapped and said why is it taking you so long hurry up. Then he used the phonetic alphabet instead of spelling out the word, i said just spell it out its easier and he said no even my younger 10 yr old brother could do this. After several attempts finally i got wht he was trying to say, he kept insinuating i was stupid basically. It came across like he was attempting to belittle me there.I asked him to buy me the headset ( since he kept complaining about my equipment) he said guess what im not your father. He asked me if I can drive and told me not to ever attempt to as ill probably cause accidents .Then he asked about my work and wht else ive been upto. He started talking about him giving money to his local charity, one which is in his local area. I asked where it is again, he said hes not going to tell me that. Then he was like i never ask you where youre from, because I don't care. He said he doesn't care a few times after randoIt continued. He said he's only speaking to me now because hes trying to help me. In other words he was implying there's no other reason he would speak to me other than because he wants to help as if im some charity case. Hes like why do you think i never called you all this time, its because i had better options than you, I've rejected people better than you before. I honestly had no idea why he was saying all this stuff but it wasn't a great experience. I said well you seemed ok before, and he said well i changed my mind. He mentioned the time we were meant to meet and said he changed his mind and its like how you cancel on your friends sometimes. Then he started talking about how as I age and the more i age im going to be worthless and he would never consider me if I came to him i.e to his doorstep in a few years he would close the door on me. How now he wants someone five years younger than him ( im nearer his age).. and he wants to create a legacy and have about 6 children. He wants someone who can help him to expand and be better and elevate him.Then he asked me why would I want you what can you offer me. I think no matter what i said he would shut it down anyway. I was speechless at his behaviour So i couldn't really fight my corner that well. He just kept repeating he had better and there's better women. He said speaking to me is like a chore and im slow, and the convo doesn't flow. Others have more of a sense of humour and great personalities. So everything which never bothered him before was suddenly bothering him now. I mean if speaking to me was such a chore why could he speak to me for several hours before on the phone. He also told me to shut the hell up when i tried to defend myself. And said he doesn't like to swear but i keep talking over him. Even though hes alright to talk over me all the time. Then hes like i give him such a headache he could never be with me or marry me as speaking to me for one minute gives him a headache.I forgot to mention he talked about how hypersexualised everything is now because of po*n. I think he was implying he doesn't see me as attractive enough to be with. I'm only assuming. Again he had no issues before, he saw my photos, saw me on video chat etc. I told him i get chatted up a lot when i go out, he replied in his childish way and said "i dont care" and said theres a name for that and called me a very derogatory name for women. ( a slu*)Anyways i was seriously speechless by the end at the treatment id received. He said in between insulting and demeaning me that he does care about me and that's why hes trying to help me. I was seriously puzzled. Then the convo ended with him asking me for a favour to do with his work, i said ill get back to you. He was like tell me a yes or a no in an aggressive tone. So after everything he said he still had the balls to ask me for a favour before telling me he will block after the favour.Tl:dr;matched with someone , he mentioned he wanted to meet more than once over the pandemic period, couldn't due to that. Finally agreed last year end of summer, he came up with the idea and told me to find a place but no actual date was set. A few weeks later got back to him and he ignored all forms of contact. I let it go, then decided to contact again and spoke to him recently for a few hours..and he was completely normal then switched halfway and started calling me names, saying the only reason he never contacted me after our arrangement to meet was because he changed his mind and found better and always had better options. Insulted me for an hour, said he could never be with someone like me and i give him a headache, and just went on and on and on. Before at the end saying he will block me forever. It was totally unprovoked in my opinion and hes never been this aggressive towards me. Also he kept saying he doesn't care over and over again whenever i would reply to questions he himself asked. But it just sounded like he was really angry and wanted to hurt me or something. (Im assuming)It was so strange the way he was completely normal with me at the start and then did a 180 and started getting personal and calling me worthless. I didn't do anything to him. Its baffling how interested he seemed to meet me before and kept talking about it, but now he suddenly didnt see me as worthy of meeting. But he had no problems speaking to me for hours and hours on end before either.5 months later which is now two days ago this is what occurred:I called to clear the air and find out a little behind why he was so irate with me previously and what his intentions were all along. I called him, he didnt pick up. I then sent a message on Facebook, asking him to give me a call as I'd like to have a chat. Here is how it went:Him : hi (my name), what do you want from meMe : there's a couple of things I'd like to speak to you aboutHim: Like?Me: just wanted to know if you're ok and some other things.Him: Like whatMe: Call meHim: a brief summaryMe: its a lot to say on here, its to clear some things up, clarity etc.I’ve known you a while so thought it would be best to do so.Him: you looking for closure or want something more. Theres nothing wrong in leaving things the way they are.Me: it is wrongHim: its not a big deal. What do you really want. You're behaving like you want me.Me: i see nothings changed. You haven't evolved.Him: are you out of touch. I don't need to go along with your demands.Then he ended up calling me on my number. We spoke for approximately 20 minutes.This is how it went:Him: How can i help youMe: how are youHim: skip the small talk, is it ok if we just get straight to the point please.Me: why are you so hostileHim: im not being hostile at all ( yes he was his tone of voice etc)..You're the one reaching out to me so how can i help you?Me: im asking you why are you so hostileHim: and im asking you how can i help you im trying to be polite hereMe: youre being short and rude.Him : oh sorry what would you like me to do then.Me: explain why you have an attitudeHim: i dont need to explain anything to you, you're not my parents or my work supervisor.Me: yes but ive known you for a while though haven't i.Him: im listeningMe: what you been up toHim: I've been upto a few things, im not in aposition to tell you its a bit personalMe: whats with the attitudeHim: can you get to the bottom of itMe: we can't speak like this, can you try to chill out ( my way of saying i cnt speak to him when he sounds irritated basically)Him : this is me chilled out im short on time, will need to go to work in a number of hours.Me: no seriously though ive been wondering what you've been upto ( i wanted to talk to him on a friendly level first before getting to the stuff i really wanted to talk about i.e regarding the previous convo 5/6 months ago.)Him: why would you be wondering, im a nobody to you so i dont know why you'd be thinking that deeply.Me: who says im thinking deeply, maybe it was a spare of the moment thing like let me see how he is.Him: ok what would you like from me how can i help youMe: so. The last time i spoke to you, you called me certain derogatory names and terms (i was referring to slu\\\\\\\* and the worthless useless etc) . You called me worthless and useless.Him: i dont remember that's an old story was a long time ago.Ok so what would you like from me now?Me: id like to know why that wasHim: ok would you like an apologyMe: i would like an apology and i want to know whyHim: i dont remember why, not being funnyMe: of course you don't, you've obviously got a short term memoryHim: yeah thanks for clarifying, so I do apologise, is that ok now?Me: NoHim: what do you want, ok ive apologised, next step what else do you want?Me: so you don't remember any of that conversation then.Him: no ive completely forgotten about it, i dont give a shi* about that conversation it was so long ago, i move on.Me: ok so what have you been up to lately. ( i thought since he said he forgot and doesnt give a s\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*, what's the point, hard to believe he would be that pissed with me and completely forget why)Him: im not at liberty to discuss thatMe: why notHim: because i dont want to, its my right. Why do you want to know my business. Did i ask you what youve been upto.Me: what's that got to do with anything you can ask, if you want, id have no problemsHim: i didnt ask you know why, because i dont give a s***. So i dont know why you feel the need to ask. It wont effect your life in any way, wont impact it, so why do you askMe: how do you know it wontHim: look what do you want are you expecting marriage. Is that what you want.Me: no i think its a bit too late for that.Him: ok im glad you've come to that realisation, thankfully ( don't know what he meant by that when all along he was the one who talked about settling down all the time, never me).Me: what do you mean by thatHim: never mind.Me: i want to know why you have an attitude with meHim: have you thought for a second just leave it as it is and move on. Some things are best to leave it as it is.Me: yea but who says i haven't moved on.Him: but you want to talk to meMe: but speaking to someone doesn't mean i haven't moved on. I could still be speaking to you and still have had things going on in my lifeHim: yeah that's fine, same goes for every person on this planet, you're not saying anything that's revolutionary or brand new.Me: just be real, why do you have such anattitude.Him: why are you so upset about my attitude. What do you, what do you want from me.You're lucky im giving you time.What is you want, why are you reaching out to me. What are you trying to achieve, what do you want.Is it your intentions to rekindle old times? What is it?Me: it was a mixture of things yeah.Him: ok we're getting somewhere. Blurt it out, say it as it is, lets not beat around the bush. What is it you wantHim: do you want to maintain a conversation with me, do you want to carry on talking to me is that what it is?Me: yeah i want to carry on talking to youHim: why because i dont want to talk to you so why so do you want to talk to me, im a busy man, ive got so many responsibilities, to be honest speaking to you is honestly a waste of my time. So why do you want to speak to me?Normally a person would peacefully part ways, respect boundaries etc and go separate ways. ( i ws thinking right on which planet did he think we peacefully part ways, he yelled at me on the phone for three hours and disrespected me as per my previous post. I was calm and collectdd thr last we spoke, he called me names like slu\* and went on for hours about how he had better options than me and how useless and worthless i was)Me: ok the truth is,Him: ive given you the apology so hopefully you should be at peace with that.Me: that was hardly anything but okHim: okMe: i just feel like, I think youve been a bit of a manipulator, this whole time.Him: ok rightMe: becauseHim: ok what did i force you to doMe: its not about force, just thinking about it your behaviour has been quite off, overall its been quite manipulative.Him: ok thats fine, have you bothered to go out and find another manMe: how do you know i haven'tHim: im hoping there's another man in your lifeMe: actually there is ( i just meant someone im casually speaking to)Him: well can you go be busy with him then, i dont know why you want to talk to me all the timeMe: its the one timeHim: you've got a man so why are you talking to me what do you want from meMe: hes not my man, hes someone im speaking to, theres no formal labelHim: ok im glad youre making progressMe: what about youHim: you should give up asking about my life, im not going to tell you anything, its not a concern of yours, a private life is a happy life as they sayMe: ok whatever, i just feel like you always have a stick up your as*Him: why do you want to keep contact, what are you hoping to achieve?Isn't he enough to satisfy you?Me: I like to have many people on the go ( from this point on i couldnt be bothered with his attitude anymore, so i said whatever i felt like true or not, obviously i dont like speaking to multiple people at the same time)Him: oh really oh wow theres a word for that but im not going to say it.Me: i think you already said it though a while agoHim: ok, so how can i help you, what does he not have that i have? That you want from meMe: every person has their pros and cons dont they, so you may have certain things that they might not have. ( again i was just finding it hilarious at this point and had given up saying anything of substance so i thought let me just for a laugh let him think im interested in him.Him: right, so what does he not have that i do.Me: i don't know, like charismaHim: right, that's something that can't be taught, you either have it or you don't.Are you saying you fancy me more than himMe: *silence for a minute*Him: ill take that as a yes.Me: yeahHim: ok and what would you like me to do about itMe: whatever you want do toHim: mmhmm, oh whatever i want to doSilence again for a minute lHim: lets not beat around the bush, what would you like from me.Me: don't you think it was a waste of time speaking to you for so long and not actually meetingHim: and you think it doesn't happen with other people. its pretty commonHim: to me it seems like because you think we've spoken for a long time you feel like i owe you something, for that time you've invested in me or i've invested in you. Seems like you want a return on your investment or somethingMe: yeah to be honest i feel like it was an epic waste of time otherwise.Him: ok so what would you want from meI get an impression that what you want from me is you'd like to meet up with me and speak to me more. Am i wrong or am i right?Me: yeah youre rightHim: ok and if that did happen are you hoping for things to progress further between you and meMe: well yeahHim: what if i told you right now im actually speak err with someone now (he was going to say speaking but ended up saying with, i dont know if that's a mistake or hes lying as there's a huge difference between being with someone and speaking to someone) would you still carry on on that path?Me: yeah i wouldn't care to be honestHim: seriously, there's a word for thatMe: i dont really care about anyone else, just care about myself.Him: ok soMe: give me a sec i went to get some waterHim: so even if im with someone now you don't careMe: noHim: well some might say that's selfish.Me: well you're pretty selfish as well so i guess we're all the sameHim: yeah i am everyones selfish to a certain degree, yes of courseIf you're trying to imply im selfish in the sense im with someone and im not going to give you the opportunity or time of the day because im with someone then i suppose from your point of view you might think im being selfishMe: no i mean overall youre quite selfish so i dont really see why i need to give you that empathy that i normally would other peopleHim: i didnt ask for any empathy at all whatsoever.Me: you just said im selfish.Him: everyone is to a certain degreeHim: look what is it you want, are you hoping for a relationship between you and meMe: just see how things goHim: and what if i refuseMe: then it will be your loss i guessHim: it depends on everyones perspective, thats fine, yeah it is my loss, that's not a problem at all, but im ok with thatIm willing to bet, you haven't come to terms with the fact we've stopped talking, i get the impression you tried to speak to others and they're not meeting your expectations so its like youre coming running back to me. Even though we barely spoke, i personally don't think i have much rapport with you ive got nothing against you reallyMe: ok you've got nothing against me but everytime i speak to you you have this huge chip on your shoulder. So you clearly doHim: that's part of my personality;Me: i dont think that's true, maybe you were being fake then this whole time..;Him: if im fake then why are you speaking to me.Me: its a one time thing, i called you once after 5 monthsHim: i wish you luck in life, and your endeavours, have a good one and i've really got to go now. Take care bye.And that was that really.So i didn't really get proper answers for why he lost control and got angry and personal towards me during our last conversation as he claims to have forgotten why but i suppose he gave some kind of half hearted apology.And i also got no answers for why he kept going on about wanting to settle down all these years, specifically to me, and about wanting to meet up and implying i wasnt taking it seriously by repeatedly saying he doesnt want a texting pen pal.But when i did try ( my version of trying, he acted hot and cold)Now he's trying to minimise it and act like he never had anything against me and saying he had very little rapport with me.If that was the case why even attempt to meet me at all, why even bother engaging with me and having 3/4 hour conversations, why even bother asking me to see him.He is strange. He basically wasted my time