/u/Stock-Access3042 on Feeling lonely and scared

I only realized I was asexual when I was 30, and it was because I read an article about it and realized it described me perfectly. I would get 'crushes' on ppl, and in my mind we would start going out and fall in love but I could never imagine the sex scene. It is gross and weird to me. I have had sex many times but never once because I actually wanted to. I actually identify as aegosexual. Just learned about it this year but omg it makes so much sense. The first time I had sex I just lay there and let him do what he wanted and I was like was that good? He was like no you just lay there and I was like yeah I didn't really want to or enjoy that. I have had sex many times. I always thought people were just doing it to please their partners, just like me. I don't ever initiate but I am willing to do it if you are happy or if I love you and you enjoy it. I worked as an escort for a time, because in my mind sex is just this body thing you do and it gives ppl pleasure and they will pay money and choose it over other activities. I don't want to touch anyone's genitals. I am ok with touching, kissing (not French), and snuggling. When I'm horny or need release I can take care of myself in less than 5 mins. For me it's just physical. But it's cringe when I think of another person. So I do work about whether I will find someone to be with. Most ppl enjoy sex. But we exist out there. Don't feel too alone the world is big and there is hope.





October 11, 2022 at 12:20AM
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