Tinder Advice for Average to Below Average Looking Guys.

I've started using the app about 2-3 years ago. I was very reluctant because I believed that love happens when you least expect it and randomly (at least it did for me in the past) but with Covid and me also living in a new country with a limited number of acquaintances and outing possibilities, I was inclined to start.

I was unsuccessful at first. Barely getting any matches and also, when I did and I did send the first message, they would often unmatch or simply did not respond. What is important is that I am also a scientist and believe in trial and error so I did reinstall the app a couple of times, refreshing my account, and attempting different things. Notable is also that I am a high functioning autist so I tend to overanalyze things and, according to my therapist, live in my head.

And my looks have to be taken into account as well; I am bald, 29M, with an average body though decently tall (185 cm). All in all, an average looking dude. The only compliments I receive in regards with my looks is the way I dress.

Then, during last year (2022) when I reset my account in, I believe that is February, I started getting a decent amount of matches, most of which were responsive, I did go on dates with about 10 girls and am now in a relationship with one. So here's a not-so-quick compendium of tips to get you going:

1.) Pictures:

Selfies are a ''no no''. Whatever you do, don't put selfies onto the app if you are an average looking dude. They will not get you dates unless you are an above average looking guy. I recommend using a profile picture that was taken by someone, with only you in it, whilst you are doing something (Mine is basically me almost drooling on top of a steak serving tray with some amazing steaks me and my friends got at well known restaurant.). Do be well dressed for first picture. Other pictures can and should include other people as well. Try to take them in natural settings. Pictures with other girls are a ''no no'' as well, unless it's a group of friends.

Some feedback I received from women that I have gone to a date with (I do tend to subtly ask in order to improve): One of them was a big fan of steaks and she stated that she loved the picture with the amazing tomahawk steak and that I need to take her there at least once. One of them stated that she thought my friends and I looked very close and that my friends loved me, so she concluded that I can't be a bad person (this was stated by the hottest one I was on a date with). Last feedback, this time negative, is that she thought the girl on the picture (a good friend of mine) was my wife (she literally said wife).

2.) Profile:

Many women don't read profiles, but a well written profile can get those that do to like you or to, if they are debating on whether they should answer your message and they didn't initially read it, nudge them towards answering.

Mine contains a non generic ''not really about me but shows what I am about'' type of statement. It is an explanation of how black holes, instead of bending light, actually twist the fabric of space which is then perceived, from a distance, as bending the light and a statement from Tyrion Lannister ''That's what I do, I drink and I know things''

I highly suggest not going for explaining much about yourself, about how you do sports or go to the gym or insertwhatevergenerichobby. Go for something that defines you as a person. I am a scientist and wanted them to understand that I am when I was writing my profile. It will also attract more women who can follow you in a conversation.

No real feedback, but had some convo starters due to the profile: Often got directly asked if I am a physicist (no, geneticist, but decent understand of physics). The Tyrion statement got me a date with a geeky cute girl, who after I sent a message to after messaging, asked me if I am a GoT fan. Date was movie date watching Thor in August.

3.) Do verify your profile

Profile verification does change the amount of times you are shown to women. I wasn't always doing it, but when I did, I did notice an increase in likes/matches. I checked online, there is no statement that there is a change in the algorithm but evidence, at least from my experimentation, shows otherwise.

4.) Prepare to message first:

Lets be real, girls don't message first even for hot guys in most cases, even less for average guys. You do not need to message immediately after a match but should do so on the day or the day after, evenings usually got me a response (around 8-9 PM).

Think about what you send. I would check her account for anything that can be replied to or commented on. If not, I had a go to message that I went with. It was funny, and the message is:

Hey NAME, tell me one of your awesome but totally useless skills. I'll go first, I can accurately measure the speed of a moving vehicle by sticking my head out of the window.

5.) Asking them on a date

Do 1-2 conversations and you should be the one ending them as well. I would usually, after exchanging approximately 5-10 messages (just get a general feel about when she is hooked on the conversation) tell them that I need to go (even though I really didn't). Then message them proactively again and repeat but end with an invitation to a date.

Date: Have a plan of what you wish to do on the weekend and invite her to that. I'd often check events in the area, comedy shows, poetry readings and similar (no concerts, no loud events, no walks in the park, no fully private dates). I'd say ''Hey, listen I have to go again but I will be going to the XY this weekend and would love it if you could join me. We can grab a coffee and talk as well after''. Most of the times they said yes but some did not. Rule is that if she says no, you will provide one alternative, this time casual non-event type date, and if she says no to that as well, she is supposed to give one or you stop messaging her.

Dress well but also appropriately for the occasion. I do have a casual professional way of dressing, so I am mostly going with that though I did get a comment that I overdressed for a coffee but I replied with ''I always dress like that, that's just casual for me''.

​

The rest is up to you

Submitted October 14, 2022 at 01:15AM

I've started using the app about 2-3 years ago. I was very reluctant because I believed that love happens when you least expect it and randomly (at least it did for me in the past) but with Covid and me also living in a new country with a limited number of acquaintances and outing possibilities, I was inclined to start.I was unsuccessful at first. Barely getting any matches and also, when I did and I did send the first message, they would often unmatch or simply did not respond. What is important is that I am also a scientist and believe in trial and error so I did reinstall the app a couple of times, refreshing my account, and attempting different things. Notable is also that I am a high functioning autist so I tend to overanalyze things and, according to my therapist, live in my head.And my looks have to be taken into account as well; I am bald, 29M, with an average body though decently tall (185 cm). All in all, an average looking dude. The only compliments I receive in regards with my looks is the way I dress.Then, during last year (2022) when I reset my account in, I believe that is February, I started getting a decent amount of matches, most of which were responsive, I did go on dates with about 10 girls and am now in a relationship with one. So here's a not-so-quick compendium of tips to get you going:1.) Pictures:Selfies are a ''no no''. Whatever you do, don't put selfies onto the app if you are an average looking dude. They will not get you dates unless you are an above average looking guy. I recommend using a profile picture that was taken by someone, with only you in it, whilst you are doing something (Mine is basically me almost drooling on top of a steak serving tray with some amazing steaks me and my friends got at well known restaurant.). Do be well dressed for first picture. Other pictures can and should include other people as well. Try to take them in natural settings. Pictures with other girls are a ''no no'' as well, unless it's a group of friends.Some feedback I received from women that I have gone to a date with (I do tend to subtly ask in order to improve): One of them was a big fan of steaks and she stated that she loved the picture with the amazing tomahawk steak and that I need to take her there at least once. One of them stated that she thought my friends and I looked very close and that my friends loved me, so she concluded that I can't be a bad person (this was stated by the hottest one I was on a date with). Last feedback, this time negative, is that she thought the girl on the picture (a good friend of mine) was my wife (she literally said wife).2.) Profile:Many women don't read profiles, but a well written profile can get those that do to like you or to, if they are debating on whether they should answer your message and they didn't initially read it, nudge them towards answering.Mine contains a non generic ''not really about me but shows what I am about'' type of statement. It is an explanation of how black holes, instead of bending light, actually twist the fabric of space which is then perceived, from a distance, as bending the light and a statement from Tyrion Lannister ''That's what I do, I drink and I know things''I highly suggest not going for explaining much about yourself, about how you do sports or go to the gym or insertwhatevergenerichobby. Go for something that defines you as a person. I am a scientist and wanted them to understand that I am when I was writing my profile. It will also attract more women who can follow you in a conversation.No real feedback, but had some convo starters due to the profile: Often got directly asked if I am a physicist (no, geneticist, but decent understand of physics). The Tyrion statement got me a date with a geeky cute girl, who after I sent a message to after messaging, asked me if I am a GoT fan. Date was movie date watching Thor in August.3.) Do verify your profileProfile verification does change the amount of times you are shown to women. I wasn't always doing it, but when I did, I did notice an increase in likes/matches. I checked online, there is no statement that there is a change in the algorithm but evidence, at least from my experimentation, shows otherwise.4.) Prepare to message first:Lets be real, girls don't message first even for hot guys in most cases, even less for average guys. You do not need to message immediately after a match but should do so on the day or the day after, evenings usually got me a response (around 8-9 PM).Think about what you send. I would check her account for anything that can be replied to or commented on. If not, I had a go to message that I went with. It was funny, and the message is:Hey NAME, tell me one of your awesome but totally useless skills. I'll go first, I can accurately measure the speed of a moving vehicle by sticking my head out of the window.5.) Asking them on a dateDo 1-2 conversations and you should be the one ending them as well. I would usually, after exchanging approximately 5-10 messages (just get a general feel about when she is hooked on the conversation) tell them that I need to go (even though I really didn't). Then message them proactively again and repeat but end with an invitation to a date.Date: Have a plan of what you wish to do on the weekend and invite her to that. I'd often check events in the area, comedy shows, poetry readings and similar (no concerts, no loud events, no walks in the park, no fully private dates). I'd say ''Hey, listen I have to go again but I will be going to the XY this weekend and would love it if you could join me. We can grab a coffee and talk as well after''. Most of the times they said yes but some did not. Rule is that if she says no, you will provide one alternative, this time casual non-event type date, and if she says no to that as well, she is supposed to give one or you stop messaging her.Dress well but also appropriately for the occasion. I do have a casual professional way of dressing, so I am mostly going with that though I did get a comment that I overdressed for a coffee but I replied with ''I always dress like that, that's just casual for me''.​The rest is up to you