Was I [26M] led on by [26F]?

So I have been on a two month long Europe trip visiting several countries. I met 26F (let's call her Jane) in Paris in a hostel dorm in early August 2022 where we got a long very well. We only spent the night with each other as she had to return back to Ireland (her country).

Over the next couple of weeks she is sending me flirty messages like "I really liked our connection you should come visit x" and also lots of blowing kiss emoji's. She would also always start the conversation commenting on my Instagram stories etc.

3 days ago I end up coming to her city and she let's me stay at her place except that I would be in a different room. I get to her place and we are having a good time, getting drunk and then eventually head out to a night club. We go back to hers and she is so adament that I sleep in the guest room (Completely understandable as she hadn't known me for long). The whole next day we hang out and we're having a great time exploring her city. Eventually I leave her place without kissing her which I kind of regretted so I sent the following message to her:

Me: Hey Jane thanks so much for letting me stay I had a blast with you! I made it to the hostel. I just had to ask though, at any point did you want me to kiss you? Just wondering how you felt.

Her: Hey!! My pleasure, Glad you got to the hostel okay! Umm you know what I did when we were in Paris .. weirdly I know as you were very sick but I actually just really enjoyed hanging out in a friendly manner! Friends last longer and less complicated if you get me, so I didn’t feel like I wanted you to kiss me… how do you feel?

I didn't really know how to respond to that so I said this:

Me: Yeah I completely understand, we’ve only met twice but I would’ve been open to either or lol. You are attractive and an awesome person to hangout with so whether it was on a friendship level or romantic I didn’t mind.

If i'm being honest I just feel like she viewed me as more than a friend, I travelled to her side of the country to see her and all of a sudden it's just me being a "friend"? I was just wondering on what people thought.

Thank you.



Submitted September 26, 2022 at 12:12AM

So I have been on a two month long Europe trip visiting several countries. I met 26F (let's call her Jane) in Paris in a hostel dorm in early August 2022 where we got a long very well. We only spent the night with each other as she had to return back to Ireland (her country).Over the next couple of weeks she is sending me flirty messages like "I really liked our connection you should come visit x" and also lots of blowing kiss emoji's. She would also always start the conversation commenting on my Instagram stories etc.3 days ago I end up coming to her city and she let's me stay at her place except that I would be in a different room. I get to her place and we are having a good time, getting drunk and then eventually head out to a night club. We go back to hers and she is so adament that I sleep in the guest room (Completely understandable as she hadn't known me for long). The whole next day we hang out and we're having a great time exploring her city. Eventually I leave her place without kissing her which I kind of regretted so I sent the following message to her:Me: Hey Jane thanks so much for letting me stay I had a blast with you! I made it to the hostel. I just had to ask though, at any point did you want me to kiss you? Just wondering how you felt.Her: Hey!! My pleasure, Glad you got to the hostel okay! Umm you know what I did when we were in Paris .. weirdly I know as you were very sick but I actually just really enjoyed hanging out in a friendly manner! Friends last longer and less complicated if you get me, so I didn’t feel like I wanted you to kiss me… how do you feel?I didn't really know how to respond to that so I said this:Me: Yeah I completely understand, we’ve only met twice but I would’ve been open to either or lol. You are attractive and an awesome person to hangout with so whether it was on a friendship level or romantic I didn’t mind.If i'm being honest I just feel like she viewed me as more than a friend, I travelled to her side of the country to see her and all of a sudden it's just me being a "friend"? I was just wondering on what people thought.Thank you.
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