/u/TheGeckoVoid on I am desperately seeking I formation so I can be the mom he needs.

I think it’s just important to acknowledge how isolating it can be— I was definitely feeling it at his age before I learned to cope better. Even with good friends it can be tough as people around this age are often prioritizing their romantic relationships and letting friendships fall aside a bit. It can be bad if you’re empathetic and an emotional rock for these types of friendships (think along the lines of always being put second to romance, and being bombarded only when things are going wrong in the friend’s life). When I was the same age, I was putting most of my emotional energy into friendships and it felt awful not having the same effort returned, instead redirected towards people they had just met.

To help you get a sense of asexuality, I’ll give my usual spiel. I don’t usually think about or consider how I experience the world. Fundamentally I know it’s not usual, but I don’t think about it until someone makes a joke or comment and I just can’t relate to it on a fundamental level due to who I am as a person. And in that moment, you realize that there is a wall between you and how billions of other people identify and see the world. And that is capital ‘I’ Isolating, especially as a kid. We’re not a monolith, your son may experience things differently, but that was how I used to feel.

You can always open up these conversations with him, tell him you know how difficult it can be to be young and queer. He might be feeling very isolated, or maybe something else entirely is bothering him. It may be good to confirm there aren’t any bigger issues at play and he wasn’t pressured into doing anything. You are coming at this from the right place and the fact that you’re on this thread proves you’re going about this in a thoughtful and empathetic way. These are all good things. Just talk to him

September 20, 2022 at 01:24AM