Out of the last 3 guys I made plans with, only 1 followed through. What's going on? Has it gotten worse or has it always been this way?

These were all people I had moved conversation with off of tinder. 2 of the 3 they suggested meeting up. 1 of the 3 I suggested it. I only had a date with the one, but it didn't go anywhere.

I feel like I'm decently attractive, at least attractive enough to have 3 possible dates within the span of 3 weeks. I feel good about how I look and I'm pretty confident in who I am as a person and I've had good conversation with all of these guys over common interests.

The two that flaked did the same "I need to reschedule so sorry" kinda thing (and obviously never rescheduled). I was getting kinda agitated with this happening so the last guy I asked if he was still up for going out, to see if he would actually tell me no he wasn't feeling it, but he said yes and still seemed into it. We made tentative plans for the rescheduled date, he asked what days I was free, I gave him a suggestion for a spot, aaaaaand radio silence ever since. It seemed like he was being serious and he wasn't...

These guys both seemed enthusiastic about going out, and it kinda makes me wonder if I'm doing anything wrong. The last guy, like I said, I was the one who asked him out and reached out to him (we had actually matched and talked about a month before but I got really sick and then started classes and tinder in general kinda fell to the wayside so I reached out to him again), and as a woman I hear constantly that a lot of guys like the initiative but I also know sometimes it scares people because they're not used to it.

Best case scenario is these guys just got anxious (I tend to go for more nerdy types anyways so maybe??) and couldn't deal, but it still sucks. Like I'm literally in therapy for anxiety and have still never flaked on plans because that's just not who I am.

I know the best advice is to meet people irl but that's easier said than done. :(

Any other women deal with this? Or anyone who can offer insight into why people seem to be so flaky?



Submitted September 29, 2022 at 12:13AM

These were all people I had moved conversation with off of tinder. 2 of the 3 they suggested meeting up. 1 of the 3 I suggested it. I only had a date with the one, but it didn't go anywhere.I feel like I'm decently attractive, at least attractive enough to have 3 possible dates within the span of 3 weeks. I feel good about how I look and I'm pretty confident in who I am as a person and I've had good conversation with all of these guys over common interests.The two that flaked did the same "I need to reschedule so sorry" kinda thing (and obviously never rescheduled). I was getting kinda agitated with this happening so the last guy I asked if he was still up for going out, to see if he would actually tell me no he wasn't feeling it, but he said yes and still seemed into it. We made tentative plans for the rescheduled date, he asked what days I was free, I gave him a suggestion for a spot, aaaaaand radio silence ever since. It seemed like he was being serious and he wasn't...These guys both seemed enthusiastic about going out, and it kinda makes me wonder if I'm doing anything wrong. The last guy, like I said, I was the one who asked him out and reached out to him (we had actually matched and talked about a month before but I got really sick and then started classes and tinder in general kinda fell to the wayside so I reached out to him again), and as a woman I hear constantly that a lot of guys like the initiative but I also know sometimes it scares people because they're not used to it.Best case scenario is these guys just got anxious (I tend to go for more nerdy types anyways so maybe??) and couldn't deal, but it still sucks. Like I'm literally in therapy for anxiety and have still never flaked on plans because that's just not who I am.I know the best advice is to meet people irl but that's easier said than done. :(Any other women deal with this? Or anyone who can offer insight into why people seem to be so flaky?
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