Lady says she is just looking for friends right now, not a relationship

I (28M) recently went on a lunch date with a woman (25/26F, not sure which). Met her as I am personal trainer at a chain gym and I got paired with her. I liked her from the get go, but I believe outside of maybe too strong of eye contact and a bit more smiley and laughy around her, kept it casual during sessions and didn't try to flirt, no compliments or the like. Trained her for about 2 months and then her sessions ran out, and at the end of her last one, I asked her out to lunch. She said yes, but when the day came she cancelled a couple hours before, and then the next day she went back home saying she would let me know when she was back in town. The texts prior had changed too from when I texted her as a trainer, more exclamation points and stuff like that. She was back home for like 2.5 weeks because she got sick there, but when she got back, she did let me know and we planned another lunch date that happened a few days back, and the text still look excited. Now I'll admit, I have very little dating experience and am more introverted and not the best socially, and get a bit anxious, so maybe during the date I came off as kind of weird, but it still lasted for near 2 hours just talking, and during the date she smiled a lot and kept eye contact, played with her hair, kept open body language, etc and at the end, she hugged me and said she had fun and we should do it again sometime. Next day in the morning I did the follow up text saying I had a great time and wanted to see her again and I didn't hear back from her until late night (which I am guessing means she was maybe going back and forth on what to say, but could be wrong) where she said once again she had a good time at lunch but she was at a place in life where she just wanted more friends and didn't want to lead me on and offered to continue hanging out as friends, which I declined saying I wanted more and said if she reconsidered dating and was interested to contact me again. So now I am just confused.

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So I guess my question in the end is, to the women here, is there ever a time that the whole not looking for a relationship thing is true, or is it almost always a gentle way to say not interested in dating going forward because of you reasons, like no spark or just don't see you as romantic/sexy? I will say in her case, her work is very busy, she even cancelled sessions due to it at times, and she is working a lot. Add in that the work abrutly said it might be moving offices from near here to about 40-50mins north and they are starting to require them to go back for at least a day or more a week in office, and she didn't even know if she was staying in the area as a result (though 40-50mins is not that far of a drive to date imo, at least for me). So is there any chance she may actually be somewhat interested at least and the work and other life stresses are getting in the way, or probably not? Would it be worth it to possibly take her at her word and go for the friendship hanging out route for now and hope later things calm down and get stable and maybe then she is open to dating again? Or if a woman liked a guy and saw him as worthy of dating, would she most likely make time in her busy schedule to see him and this is me being hopeful?

Also sorry for being a rambler and not being short, I figure the more info the better.

Submitted September 13, 2022 at 12:09AM

I (28M) recently went on a lunch date with a woman (25/26F, not sure which). Met her as I am personal trainer at a chain gym and I got paired with her. I liked her from the get go, but I believe outside of maybe too strong of eye contact and a bit more smiley and laughy around her, kept it casual during sessions and didn't try to flirt, no compliments or the like. Trained her for about 2 months and then her sessions ran out, and at the end of her last one, I asked her out to lunch. She said yes, but when the day came she cancelled a couple hours before, and then the next day she went back home saying she would let me know when she was back in town. The texts prior had changed too from when I texted her as a trainer, more exclamation points and stuff like that. She was back home for like 2.5 weeks because she got sick there, but when she got back, she did let me know and we planned another lunch date that happened a few days back, and the text still look excited. Now I'll admit, I have very little dating experience and am more introverted and not the best socially, and get a bit anxious, so maybe during the date I came off as kind of weird, but it still lasted for near 2 hours just talking, and during the date she smiled a lot and kept eye contact, played with her hair, kept open body language, etc and at the end, she hugged me and said she had fun and we should do it again sometime. Next day in the morning I did the follow up text saying I had a great time and wanted to see her again and I didn't hear back from her until late night (which I am guessing means she was maybe going back and forth on what to say, but could be wrong) where she said once again she had a good time at lunch but she was at a place in life where she just wanted more friends and didn't want to lead me on and offered to continue hanging out as friends, which I declined saying I wanted more and said if she reconsidered dating and was interested to contact me again. So now I am just confused.​So I guess my question in the end is, to the women here, is there ever a time that the whole not looking for a relationship thing is true, or is it almost always a gentle way to say not interested in dating going forward because of you reasons, like no spark or just don't see you as romantic/sexy? I will say in her case, her work is very busy, she even cancelled sessions due to it at times, and she is working a lot. Add in that the work abrutly said it might be moving offices from near here to about 40-50mins north and they are starting to require them to go back for at least a day or more a week in office, and she didn't even know if she was staying in the area as a result (though 40-50mins is not that far of a drive to date imo, at least for me). So is there any chance she may actually be somewhat interested at least and the work and other life stresses are getting in the way, or probably not? Would it be worth it to possibly take her at her word and go for the friendship hanging out route for now and hope later things calm down and get stable and maybe then she is open to dating again? Or if a woman liked a guy and saw him as worthy of dating, would she most likely make time in her busy schedule to see him and this is me being hopeful?Also sorry for being a rambler and not being short, I figure the more info the better.