Is being bad at communication a good enough excuse?

F(21) I saw this guy over the summer, and things were great. I go to school abroad, and so does he, and I was back home only for the summer, and he's planning to go back home in the winter. When we started hanging out more, he told me he really liked me and told all of his guy friends. He also said it was very unusual for him to consistently see a girl (as I stayed over every night), and he would never catch feelings, but he did for me.

Before I left back to school, all of his friends and family knew about me; he met my family and took a day off work to drop me off at the airport.

When I got back to school, we were communicating all the time however, due to the 11-hour time difference, it became difficult. One night I had a bad panic attack (due to my PTSD with relationships), and I unsent all of my messages to him. He called me at 4 am wanting to call, and we spoke for 4 hours he admitted when I ghosted him, it made him pretty upset, and I apologized because honestly, I really didn't think he would miss me. During the call, we agreed we would still see other people as we weren't sure when we would see each other again, which was fair, but we would still stay in contact.

As time went on, the communication started to slow down. Whenever we spoke or when I asked him a question, things were fine, and it was two-sided. But the thing is, he would never ask me to call. He would still send snaps to me, but I wished he would text to check up on me or ask to call

Over time I found this extremely draining as I always found myself wondering when he was going to reply. Over text, he told me he was bad at responding, especially with the time difference, so should I give it the benefit of the doubt? Or Should I distance myself a bit and not open his snaps to see how he would respond? I'm not trying to be manipulative, but I'm just tired of trying to put effort into calling him, and I don't know if he still likes me.



Submitted September 09, 2022 at 12:15AM

F(21) I saw this guy over the summer, and things were great. I go to school abroad, and so does he, and I was back home only for the summer, and he's planning to go back home in the winter. When we started hanging out more, he told me he really liked me and told all of his guy friends. He also said it was very unusual for him to consistently see a girl (as I stayed over every night), and he would never catch feelings, but he did for me.Before I left back to school, all of his friends and family knew about me; he met my family and took a day off work to drop me off at the airport.When I got back to school, we were communicating all the time however, due to the 11-hour time difference, it became difficult. One night I had a bad panic attack (due to my PTSD with relationships), and I unsent all of my messages to him. He called me at 4 am wanting to call, and we spoke for 4 hours he admitted when I ghosted him, it made him pretty upset, and I apologized because honestly, I really didn't think he would miss me. During the call, we agreed we would still see other people as we weren't sure when we would see each other again, which was fair, but we would still stay in contact.As time went on, the communication started to slow down. Whenever we spoke or when I asked him a question, things were fine, and it was two-sided. But the thing is, he would never ask me to call. He would still send snaps to me, but I wished he would text to check up on me or ask to callOver time I found this extremely draining as I always found myself wondering when he was going to reply. Over text, he told me he was bad at responding, especially with the time difference, so should I give it the benefit of the doubt? Or Should I distance myself a bit and not open his snaps to see how he would respond? I'm not trying to be manipulative, but I'm just tired of trying to put effort into calling him, and I don't know if he still likes me.
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