Meeting my crush/friend for coffee for the first time. How to let her know I like her?

I've been friends with this girl for about 5 years (we were students in the same university). When we first met, she had a boyfriend. I was interested in her at first, but decided to be friends once I got to know she had a bf (I mean my feelings towards her didn't go away, I just felt it would be unethical to make advances since she was in a relationship). She had since dated one or more two different guys after then bf. She's been single for about 6 months as far as I know. Me on the other hand have never been in a relationship but I've had crushes on other girls. I am just one year older than her. We have had a few fallouts over the years but have always become friends again.

Now she's single, I have been thinking of asking her out. I think (I think) I have been flirting with her, but she's somewhat friendly with guys (I live in an Asian country, girls tend to be rather shy here), so I dunno if she's flirting back or just being friendly. I think she knows I like her but as far as I know, other guys who seem to fancy her, so I am not sure where do I stand in that competition. I am not good at these things, sorry.

We used to hang out a lot when we were in university but I've only met her once after I saw her in the university. We met with her sister and one mutual friend of ours to see a movie a few months ago. Four of us enjoyed a meal, watched the movie had a good chat during those activities. There was no romantic stuff, just friends catching up on live after graduation from the university.

A few days after that meeting, while we were texting, she said she wanted to meet me again, this time she said it would be me and her. She didn't explicitly said it would be date and I actually don't know how to approach this. I like her and would like that to be a date, but I don't wanna scare her off by trying to be romantic if she's not into me. We have agreed we'd meet on a small coffee shop but haven't talked about any other things to do afterwards. There's a park near the coffee shop so I am thinking maybe I should ask her if we could go for a walk after we have food in the coffee shop. But even if she agrees to go for a walk, I don't know what to do. Should I flirt? Or have a normal conversation? I want to let her know I am interested, but I am scared to directly ask her out like "Hey do you wanna go out with me?" because I am not sure what her answer would be. But I'm thinking maybe there's another way of letting her know that I want to date her.

So please tell me, how should I approach this scenario?



Submitted August 12, 2022 at 12:14AM

I've been friends with this girl for about 5 years (we were students in the same university). When we first met, she had a boyfriend. I was interested in her at first, but decided to be friends once I got to know she had a bf (I mean my feelings towards her didn't go away, I just felt it would be unethical to make advances since she was in a relationship). She had since dated one or more two different guys after then bf. She's been single for about 6 months as far as I know. Me on the other hand have never been in a relationship but I've had crushes on other girls. I am just one year older than her. We have had a few fallouts over the years but have always become friends again.Now she's single, I have been thinking of asking her out. I think (I think) I have been flirting with her, but she's somewhat friendly with guys (I live in an Asian country, girls tend to be rather shy here), so I dunno if she's flirting back or just being friendly. I think she knows I like her but as far as I know, other guys who seem to fancy her, so I am not sure where do I stand in that competition. I am not good at these things, sorry.We used to hang out a lot when we were in university but I've only met her once after I saw her in the university. We met with her sister and one mutual friend of ours to see a movie a few months ago. Four of us enjoyed a meal, watched the movie had a good chat during those activities. There was no romantic stuff, just friends catching up on live after graduation from the university.A few days after that meeting, while we were texting, she said she wanted to meet me again, this time she said it would be me and her. She didn't explicitly said it would be date and I actually don't know how to approach this. I like her and would like that to be a date, but I don't wanna scare her off by trying to be romantic if she's not into me. We have agreed we'd meet on a small coffee shop but haven't talked about any other things to do afterwards. There's a park near the coffee shop so I am thinking maybe I should ask her if we could go for a walk after we have food in the coffee shop. But even if she agrees to go for a walk, I don't know what to do. Should I flirt? Or have a normal conversation? I want to let her know I am interested, but I am scared to directly ask her out like "Hey do you wanna go out with me?" because I am not sure what her answer would be. But I'm thinking maybe there's another way of letting her know that I want to date her.So please tell me, how should I approach this scenario?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more