How do I stop being a gold digger

Advice needed :

Im a 28 year old relatively attractive female. I grew up very privileged. My life was international and my dad was sort of like a gangster working in film distribution. His relationship with my mother was this : you take care of the kids and here’s my credit card. Buy whatever you want or need including horses, nannies, whatever. Fast forward to me now. I’m 28, single, parents divorced and I now live in the middle of nowhere. Dad went bankrupt and mom remarried someone much more conservative while still extremely successful when I was 13. ( example, he wouldn’t allow mom to take us to the dentist.that kind of conservative)

The problem I’m having as an adult is im not able to recreate the upbringing I had with any men I’m meeting and it’s subconsciously this standard I have. Example: I’m seeing a guy now, casually. He’s 20 years older than I am (same age difference as my mom and dad). He flew me to NY from my little town to stay with him For the week. He’s successful but not extravagant like my father. I love this guy. His personality is addictive. But his frugal ways Are constantly a source of disappointment for me. “ why isn’t this guy taking me to the nicest restaurants like my dad? Why isn’t he buying me anything I want like I saw dad do for mom?” I think this mentality is ruining my ability to be happy in relationships, because at the end of the day, I think my dad was a rare specimen, someone so eager to take care and spoil a woman. Should I seek therapy!? Am i justified ? What do I do. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my Life because my expectations are sky high. But it’s so hard to rewire yourself after being exposed to certain family dynamics. Totally prepared for gold digger remarks and totally okay with that . Thanks for any advice or thoughts

Submitted August 07, 2022 at 12:14AM

Advice needed :Im a 28 year old relatively attractive female. I grew up very privileged. My life was international and my dad was sort of like a gangster working in film distribution. His relationship with my mother was this : you take care of the kids and here’s my credit card. Buy whatever you want or need including horses, nannies, whatever. Fast forward to me now. I’m 28, single, parents divorced and I now live in the middle of nowhere. Dad went bankrupt and mom remarried someone much more conservative while still extremely successful when I was 13. ( example, he wouldn’t allow mom to take us to the dentist.that kind of conservative)The problem I’m having as an adult is im not able to recreate the upbringing I had with any men I’m meeting and it’s subconsciously this standard I have. Example: I’m seeing a guy now, casually. He’s 20 years older than I am (same age difference as my mom and dad). He flew me to NY from my little town to stay with him For the week. He’s successful but not extravagant like my father. I love this guy. His personality is addictive. But his frugal ways Are constantly a source of disappointment for me. “ why isn’t this guy taking me to the nicest restaurants like my dad? Why isn’t he buying me anything I want like I saw dad do for mom?” I think this mentality is ruining my ability to be happy in relationships, because at the end of the day, I think my dad was a rare specimen, someone so eager to take care and spoil a woman. Should I seek therapy!? Am i justified ? What do I do. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my Life because my expectations are sky high. But it’s so hard to rewire yourself after being exposed to certain family dynamics. Totally prepared for gold digger remarks and totally okay with that . Thanks for any advice or thoughts