Should I send her an apology text?

Long story short, I was seeing a girl for a while. We hooked up for about a month and I was the first person she was seeing in some time. We both rushed into sharing our past relationship issues/trauma and got pretty attached.. then back to back Saturday’s I got emotional when opening up about our parents/past partners infidelity. Got a little jealous the next weekend but apologized immediately. There were no fights/arguments, just me being insecure.

I thought everything was fine, she was texting me to see me and come to my area (I live 30 minutes away). I was unavailable and then things ended two days later. I was overly stoic and kind of was just like “okay, sounds good bye 👋” when she said she’d love to stay friends b/c timing might be right later on. I just assumed she was letting me down easy but her friend confirmed that was not the case.

I was thinking about reaching out for the first time in two months:

“I did want to stay friends and I’m sorry if it came off like I didn’t care. I just needed time and space to self-reflect. Got right back into therapy and made some big changes.

I think the reality is that I have not been and am not in a place mentally to date. I wanted to empathize with your past but I went too far and opened up too fast about mine. I ended up overthinking the last time we hung out b/c I didn’t build enough trust before becoming vulnerable. I had truly believed I was ready to trust again. But I let my insecure impulses get the best of me back to back weekends. I put pressure on you when you already had enough on your plate and you didn’t deserve that. I know you said I didn’t do anything wrong, but I want you to know that I’m grateful for the chance you gave me and I apologize for not being the secure person that you and your friends thought I was.

I don’t expect you to respond. But I’ll be moving to the city soon, so I would be interested in being friends if that’s still something you want.”

I do not want her back as I can tell that my disorganized attachment style is still kicking. But I’d love to be her friend since she is genuinely a kind person and maybe once we heal we can pick things back up.

Would this be an acceptable text?



Submitted July 26, 2022 at 12:15AM

Long story short, I was seeing a girl for a while. We hooked up for about a month and I was the first person she was seeing in some time. We both rushed into sharing our past relationship issues/trauma and got pretty attached.. then back to back Saturday’s I got emotional when opening up about our parents/past partners infidelity. Got a little jealous the next weekend but apologized immediately. There were no fights/arguments, just me being insecure.I thought everything was fine, she was texting me to see me and come to my area (I live 30 minutes away). I was unavailable and then things ended two days later. I was overly stoic and kind of was just like “okay, sounds good bye 👋” when she said she’d love to stay friends b/c timing might be right later on. I just assumed she was letting me down easy but her friend confirmed that was not the case.I was thinking about reaching out for the first time in two months:“I did want to stay friends and I’m sorry if it came off like I didn’t care. I just needed time and space to self-reflect. Got right back into therapy and made some big changes.I think the reality is that I have not been and am not in a place mentally to date. I wanted to empathize with your past but I went too far and opened up too fast about mine. I ended up overthinking the last time we hung out b/c I didn’t build enough trust before becoming vulnerable. I had truly believed I was ready to trust again. But I let my insecure impulses get the best of me back to back weekends. I put pressure on you when you already had enough on your plate and you didn’t deserve that. I know you said I didn’t do anything wrong, but I want you to know that I’m grateful for the chance you gave me and I apologize for not being the secure person that you and your friends thought I was.I don’t expect you to respond. But I’ll be moving to the city soon, so I would be interested in being friends if that’s still something you want.”I do not want her back as I can tell that my disorganized attachment style is still kicking. But I’d love to be her friend since she is genuinely a kind person and maybe once we heal we can pick things back up.Would this be an acceptable text?
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