Is it wrong to share relationship problems with a friend?

My boyfriend (51M) and I (27F) have been together for around a year and a half now, we recently had a baby. While I don't ever see the relationship ending I also have concerns about how toxic it is becoming and really want the support of my close friend. However, I don't want to taint her view of my partner or cause any friction between them since obviously it would be ideal if everyone got along. He's an amazing man who does amazing work and all our friends adore him but he often has a cruel and harsh way with me that others don't see from him and would likely not believe he is capable of. Lately the toxicity has gone from only verbal/emotional to somewhat physical (pushing and shoving me, threatened to punch me but never has) and I now feel trapped in a relationship that I don't want to leave but don't know what to do about or have anyone to talk to. Becoming a little numb to the whole thing now... During our relationship he has helped me grow in so many ways but he has also destroyed parts of me I will likely never get back, like my self-esteem.

I don't have many friends I can confide in, not much of a social life and we live in an isolated area. Is it wrong to share all of my problems with my friend, if by doing so it could ruin any chance of them getting along should things change for the better?



Submitted July 16, 2022 at 12:15AM

My boyfriend (51M) and I (27F) have been together for around a year and a half now, we recently had a baby. While I don't ever see the relationship ending I also have concerns about how toxic it is becoming and really want the support of my close friend. However, I don't want to taint her view of my partner or cause any friction between them since obviously it would be ideal if everyone got along. He's an amazing man who does amazing work and all our friends adore him but he often has a cruel and harsh way with me that others don't see from him and would likely not believe he is capable of. Lately the toxicity has gone from only verbal/emotional to somewhat physical (pushing and shoving me, threatened to punch me but never has) and I now feel trapped in a relationship that I don't want to leave but don't know what to do about or have anyone to talk to. Becoming a little numb to the whole thing now... During our relationship he has helped me grow in so many ways but he has also destroyed parts of me I will likely never get back, like my self-esteem.I don't have many friends I can confide in, not much of a social life and we live in an isolated area. Is it wrong to share all of my problems with my friend, if by doing so it could ruin any chance of them getting along should things change for the better?
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