How do I fix this?

I (34m) am coming out of yet another failed "relationship" at 3 months. This seems to happen regularly, I get to the 3 month point, basically at the honeymoon phase, and can't get beyond that. This girl was absolutely perfect for me. She says I'm just missing some "quality" which she can't describe.

I know the quality. I've known I'm lacking it for a while, but I don't know where to get it. I'm no alpha male, and I don't want to be, but I'm not even a beta. I'm so far down the list that there's not even a name for it. I'm not confident, I'm extremely self depricating which is obviously a turn off. In my last relationship, she was contacted by her ex. She told me about it, and obviously wanted me to do something, but I just didn't. I sat there and tried to be the "better man" and ultimately she went back to him.

I wouldn't say I'm ugly, I have a decent funny personality, I own my own home, great job, completely stable, but I'm lacking in the personality area that I think women desire. At the end of the day, I'm a pushover. I don't stand up for myself, I avoid confrontation, and I shy away from difficult situations. I need to fix this, otherwise I'm doomed to live alone forever.

I'm looking for self help books that can help me here. I've seen the 48 Laws of Power but I don't want that, I'm not looking to be a self absorbed narcissistic dick, I just need to know how to carry myself in a manner that isn't just...wimpy.



Submitted July 28, 2022 at 01:08AM

I (34m) am coming out of yet another failed "relationship" at 3 months. This seems to happen regularly, I get to the 3 month point, basically at the honeymoon phase, and can't get beyond that. This girl was absolutely perfect for me. She says I'm just missing some "quality" which she can't describe.I know the quality. I've known I'm lacking it for a while, but I don't know where to get it. I'm no alpha male, and I don't want to be, but I'm not even a beta. I'm so far down the list that there's not even a name for it. I'm not confident, I'm extremely self depricating which is obviously a turn off. In my last relationship, she was contacted by her ex. She told me about it, and obviously wanted me to do something, but I just didn't. I sat there and tried to be the "better man" and ultimately she went back to him.I wouldn't say I'm ugly, I have a decent funny personality, I own my own home, great job, completely stable, but I'm lacking in the personality area that I think women desire. At the end of the day, I'm a pushover. I don't stand up for myself, I avoid confrontation, and I shy away from difficult situations. I need to fix this, otherwise I'm doomed to live alone forever.I'm looking for self help books that can help me here. I've seen the 48 Laws of Power but I don't want that, I'm not looking to be a self absorbed narcissistic dick, I just need to know how to carry myself in a manner that isn't just...wimpy.
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