Confusing behavior from close male friend

Me (26F) and this guy (28M) have been good friends for the better part of two years - I’m the closest female friend he’s ever had. We met in a graduate program and became friends as a result of initially studying and working together almost everyday. We now also share several hobbies and mutual friends.

He and I have never been single at the same time. I just got out of a long term relationship and he has been seeing his partner for a few months now.

Generally speaking he takes the role of my “partner” for all intents and purposes. He takes me home after a night out. He comforts me when I’m sad. Buys me drinks and lunches and snacks. Cuddles me on the rare occasion. Volunteers to do handy work in my house. He also seems to finds things to hate about every guy that’s into me or flirting with me. Example: “that guy is definitely flirting with you. But he seems like a dick because of X reason.”

He has also refused to introduce me to his girlfriend, even when I ran into them in the street once, he just nodded at me and quickly walked off with her? Which is strange behavior considering I’m one of his closest friends, and other friends of ours have met her. He told me in the past that we’d make a good match but he would never want to pursue me. Granted I was with my boyfriend at the time and he was already seeing his now new gf. But he also said that even if we were both single it could probably never happen?

Im just confused at the state of our friendship and how he actually sees me. Because his behavior says one thing and his words another…



Submitted July 03, 2022 at 12:05AM

Me (26F) and this guy (28M) have been good friends for the better part of two years - I’m the closest female friend he’s ever had. We met in a graduate program and became friends as a result of initially studying and working together almost everyday. We now also share several hobbies and mutual friends.He and I have never been single at the same time. I just got out of a long term relationship and he has been seeing his partner for a few months now.Generally speaking he takes the role of my “partner” for all intents and purposes. He takes me home after a night out. He comforts me when I’m sad. Buys me drinks and lunches and snacks. Cuddles me on the rare occasion. Volunteers to do handy work in my house. He also seems to finds things to hate about every guy that’s into me or flirting with me. Example: “that guy is definitely flirting with you. But he seems like a dick because of X reason.”He has also refused to introduce me to his girlfriend, even when I ran into them in the street once, he just nodded at me and quickly walked off with her? Which is strange behavior considering I’m one of his closest friends, and other friends of ours have met her. He told me in the past that we’d make a good match but he would never want to pursue me. Granted I was with my boyfriend at the time and he was already seeing his now new gf. But he also said that even if we were both single it could probably never happen?Im just confused at the state of our friendship and how he actually sees me. Because his behavior says one thing and his words another…
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