What should I do with me ex

My ex (20M) and I (20M) broke up this past winter because he felt like he couldn’t provide what he needed in the relationship. Essentially it boiled down to him thinking I was better off without him; he had low self-esteem, and thought I was upset because he couldn’t hang out much due to his crazy school / work schedule. He also had pressure from his parents, whom he was closeted to.

Anyways, it was really difficult for both of us. We were very in love, and for me, I didn’t really think it had to end, but of course it wasn’t my decision to make. We talked for a few weeks, then went quiet for a couple months.

Up until about a month ago, we texted maybe once every few weeks, usually I initiated contact. But then a month ago he started talking to me again; asking how I am, what I’m up to, how the family is. He then kind of rambled on (in text) saying how he really missed me, and he’s “tortured” by the thought of me / missing “us”, and he feels so guilty for what happened. And he wishes he could change the past.

But he doesn’t say he wants to get back together.

In fact, he still says that I’m too good for him. That there’s someone out there “taller and better looking” than him. It honestly just broke my heart, because he seems depressed, lonely, and without any self-esteem.

Well for the past few weeks, we’ve been talking quite frequently, sometimes daily. Just responding to posts and stories, but often the language used (especially by him) gets a little warmer than just friendly.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, I defiantly still want to get back together, and it seems to me that (deep down) he does too. He’s back at home from college now, but this fall he’ll return. Would it be okay if I tried to reignite the flame we once had? I’m honestly not even sure if it went out.

We already talked about things we want to do in the area, and we actually agreed to do a couple things together. But neither of us have mentioned getting back together or anything. Just hinting at memories / what we enjoy about the other / what we missed. We honestly didn’t have any issues, other than what was in his head… and he had never brought it up before the actual breakup.

I’m debating whether it’s worth it. Really can’t stop thinking about him and what could happen this fall. Thanks for any insight.

Submitted June 27, 2022 at 01:13AM

My ex (20M) and I (20M) broke up this past winter because he felt like he couldn’t provide what he needed in the relationship. Essentially it boiled down to him thinking I was better off without him; he had low self-esteem, and thought I was upset because he couldn’t hang out much due to his crazy school / work schedule. He also had pressure from his parents, whom he was closeted to.Anyways, it was really difficult for both of us. We were very in love, and for me, I didn’t really think it had to end, but of course it wasn’t my decision to make. We talked for a few weeks, then went quiet for a couple months.Up until about a month ago, we texted maybe once every few weeks, usually I initiated contact. But then a month ago he started talking to me again; asking how I am, what I’m up to, how the family is. He then kind of rambled on (in text) saying how he really missed me, and he’s “tortured” by the thought of me / missing “us”, and he feels so guilty for what happened. And he wishes he could change the past.But he doesn’t say he wants to get back together.In fact, he still says that I’m too good for him. That there’s someone out there “taller and better looking” than him. It honestly just broke my heart, because he seems depressed, lonely, and without any self-esteem.Well for the past few weeks, we’ve been talking quite frequently, sometimes daily. Just responding to posts and stories, but often the language used (especially by him) gets a little warmer than just friendly.I guess what I’m trying to get at is, I defiantly still want to get back together, and it seems to me that (deep down) he does too. He’s back at home from college now, but this fall he’ll return. Would it be okay if I tried to reignite the flame we once had? I’m honestly not even sure if it went out.We already talked about things we want to do in the area, and we actually agreed to do a couple things together. But neither of us have mentioned getting back together or anything. Just hinting at memories / what we enjoy about the other / what we missed. We honestly didn’t have any issues, other than what was in his head… and he had never brought it up before the actual breakup.I’m debating whether it’s worth it. Really can’t stop thinking about him and what could happen this fall. Thanks for any insight.