He doesn't want a relationship but is open to take it slow and see where things go. Should I go with the flow as well?

Hi. So I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now, we rushed into a "relationship" after two weeks and then we broke up because we both agreed we're moving way too fast and took a week break. Got back and have been hanging out most of the time. Ever since we got back from the one week break, we remain exclusive. For the past 1 month we have been enjoying each others company, he would often tell me how much he likes spending quality time with me and would take me out when we're done with assignments (we're in our early 20s). Recently we have been spending almost 5 to 6 days a week together and I can see that he's been suffocated. I openly lay down what I want from this, telling him I can take it slow, and we should, but for me to take it slow its because I see us together, and that I want to try. He said I don't want a relationship, I'm not ready. So I asked then if he's willing to even try to see where it goes or you want to completely give up on that. He replied "I want a break. A step back." So I asked him to define "a break", he said means less staying over at each others day, less of us, and its also because we are practically 24/7 together. So I said okay. So it means we are taking a step back and giving each other more space while also being exclusive.

Question: should I be worried that this just seems like a suicide mission for me? He doesn't want a relationship now but is open to take a step back and move slowly. And it's only been 3 months I know. But do I cut my loss now or I can ride the wave for another 1-3 months to see where it goes?

And I do understand how he was single doing his everything by himself and having friends time suddenly being with me 24/7 for the past 1 month. But he did initiate most of the hang outs and stayover so that's why I'm confused and worried.

Please let me know... I need views on this. Thank you so much.



Submitted June 21, 2022 at 12:14AM

Hi. So I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now, we rushed into a "relationship" after two weeks and then we broke up because we both agreed we're moving way too fast and took a week break. Got back and have been hanging out most of the time. Ever since we got back from the one week break, we remain exclusive. For the past 1 month we have been enjoying each others company, he would often tell me how much he likes spending quality time with me and would take me out when we're done with assignments (we're in our early 20s). Recently we have been spending almost 5 to 6 days a week together and I can see that he's been suffocated. I openly lay down what I want from this, telling him I can take it slow, and we should, but for me to take it slow its because I see us together, and that I want to try. He said I don't want a relationship, I'm not ready. So I asked then if he's willing to even try to see where it goes or you want to completely give up on that. He replied "I want a break. A step back." So I asked him to define "a break", he said means less staying over at each others day, less of us, and its also because we are practically 24/7 together. So I said okay. So it means we are taking a step back and giving each other more space while also being exclusive.Question: should I be worried that this just seems like a suicide mission for me? He doesn't want a relationship now but is open to take a step back and move slowly. And it's only been 3 months I know. But do I cut my loss now or I can ride the wave for another 1-3 months to see where it goes?And I do understand how he was single doing his everything by himself and having friends time suddenly being with me 24/7 for the past 1 month. But he did initiate most of the hang outs and stayover so that's why I'm confused and worried.Please let me know... I need views on this. Thank you so much.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more