Girlfriend upset at how often i get tired

So me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 months now, known each other for 6 months. She goes to university an hour away and I’m the one who’s able to drive and see her. We tend to see each other once a week, with me driving one hour there and back home.

So recently me and my girlfriend have been separated for about 3 weeks due to scheduling and covid , and I only have 5 days to see here left because her semester ends this. From Friday to Sunday I was able to stay at her dorm. However despite how much a commute it is, I still decided to see her the last Tues and Wed, not sleeping over but going to her dorm and back home to work.

However recently this passed Wed, things kind of erupted for us. On Wed I told her I was gonna come at 4:45 after work, however when I got home I was too tired and took a nap since Tues night I just saw her and left her late to go home for work. I will admit, I should’ve communicated that I took a nap and will be coming late on our last day. I’ve also been known to just be late with her, due to traffic and being an unfortunate habit of mine, but I am trying to improve and change that for her.

However on Wed when we were together, she started to get upset when we were laying together at 11 pm and I started to get sleepy. This prompted a full blown argument about how I always tend to get sleepy when I come over and I don’t spend enough time with her. Since we’re semi distance she wants as much time with me as possible, however I just get tired when we lay in her dorm bed and from just life schedule of just commuting to her an hour in LA traffic. I understand why her she would be upset and wants to spend as much time as me, but I just get tired and it’s something i’ve decided to work on.

To me, the constant commuting and seeing her feels like a lot of effort but I still try as hard as I can. She says that what I’m doing on just seeing her once, or even more days in the week if I am off, is the bare minimum. It felt like a lot to me, but we just have different expectations in effort. She feels as tho my fullest isn’t meeting her minimum. Now this all connects to me being tired in her dorm bed, she tends to be able to stay up later than me so we just have different sleep schedules.

We had a huge argument with her being tired of how I treat her and we are in a rocky recovering area with me trying to change over the summer to meet her expectations and treat her the fullest. I try as much as I can especially with the drive but it is hard for both of us.

This is both our first serious relationship as we are both about 20 y/o. I love her very much and do not mean to take her for granted in how much she does for me. I don’t mean to hurt her but I also try to find a balance for my own self and free time. Any thoughts or advice on this? Much appreciated as I am trying to learn and cherish her more and in this relationship

Submitted June 10, 2022 at 12:12AM

So me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 months now, known each other for 6 months. She goes to university an hour away and I’m the one who’s able to drive and see her. We tend to see each other once a week, with me driving one hour there and back home.So recently me and my girlfriend have been separated for about 3 weeks due to scheduling and covid , and I only have 5 days to see here left because her semester ends this. From Friday to Sunday I was able to stay at her dorm. However despite how much a commute it is, I still decided to see her the last Tues and Wed, not sleeping over but going to her dorm and back home to work.However recently this passed Wed, things kind of erupted for us. On Wed I told her I was gonna come at 4:45 after work, however when I got home I was too tired and took a nap since Tues night I just saw her and left her late to go home for work. I will admit, I should’ve communicated that I took a nap and will be coming late on our last day. I’ve also been known to just be late with her, due to traffic and being an unfortunate habit of mine, but I am trying to improve and change that for her.However on Wed when we were together, she started to get upset when we were laying together at 11 pm and I started to get sleepy. This prompted a full blown argument about how I always tend to get sleepy when I come over and I don’t spend enough time with her. Since we’re semi distance she wants as much time with me as possible, however I just get tired when we lay in her dorm bed and from just life schedule of just commuting to her an hour in LA traffic. I understand why her she would be upset and wants to spend as much time as me, but I just get tired and it’s something i’ve decided to work on.To me, the constant commuting and seeing her feels like a lot of effort but I still try as hard as I can. She says that what I’m doing on just seeing her once, or even more days in the week if I am off, is the bare minimum. It felt like a lot to me, but we just have different expectations in effort. She feels as tho my fullest isn’t meeting her minimum. Now this all connects to me being tired in her dorm bed, she tends to be able to stay up later than me so we just have different sleep schedules.We had a huge argument with her being tired of how I treat her and we are in a rocky recovering area with me trying to change over the summer to meet her expectations and treat her the fullest. I try as much as I can especially with the drive but it is hard for both of us.This is both our first serious relationship as we are both about 20 y/o. I love her very much and do not mean to take her for granted in how much she does for me. I don’t mean to hurt her but I also try to find a balance for my own self and free time. Any thoughts or advice on this? Much appreciated as I am trying to learn and cherish her more and in this relationship