What’s Better For Relationship: Attraction But Not Feeling Seen/Clicking or Feeling Seen and Clicking But Not Being Attracted To Them

For Context:

1st Person (Attracted To But Not Feeling Seen/Clicking): We’ve known each other and talked everyday for a year. We have fun moments of course but our relationship is basically online and we only see each other thru FaceTime or hanging out in person once a month. Very attracted to this person, and I can see a future with them. We’ve had a bunch of ups and downs and we can’t let each other go. I figure that if we were able to spend more time together in real life or just be in each other’s lives long enough, then that feeling of being seen/clicking would come naturally.

2nd Person (Feeling Seen/Clicking But Not Being Attracted): We’ve known each other for six years and we hang out in person often. We have great talks whether we’re in a group or just the two of us. However, I’m not attracted to them even though it feels like I should because our connection just fits.

Like based on this could either of these relationships be sustained? Should I wait for a person who I’m attracted to AND makes me feel seen/click with? Is it possible to build a connection that just fits?



Submitted May 30, 2022 at 12:07AM

For Context:1st Person (Attracted To But Not Feeling Seen/Clicking): We’ve known each other and talked everyday for a year. We have fun moments of course but our relationship is basically online and we only see each other thru FaceTime or hanging out in person once a month. Very attracted to this person, and I can see a future with them. We’ve had a bunch of ups and downs and we can’t let each other go. I figure that if we were able to spend more time together in real life or just be in each other’s lives long enough, then that feeling of being seen/clicking would come naturally.2nd Person (Feeling Seen/Clicking But Not Being Attracted): We’ve known each other for six years and we hang out in person often. We have great talks whether we’re in a group or just the two of us. However, I’m not attracted to them even though it feels like I should because our connection just fits.Like based on this could either of these relationships be sustained? Should I wait for a person who I’m attracted to AND makes me feel seen/click with? Is it possible to build a connection that just fits?
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