I'm my worst enemy

M23 here. Just got back from a trip yesterday, scrolled through some pictures I clicked and realized that that was the reason I'm single. I'm 6'3 and 245 lbs, so I kinda stand out not exactly in the good way. My friends (not just the bros but my female friends too) say that I'm not as bad as I think I am. But I'm my worst enemy. I'm hard on myself. Whenever I'm in front of a mirror, I'm like I'm undatable. Working out has helped with minor spurts of confidence but not enough to muster up courage to ask someone out. I honestly think a woman who doesn't know me at all would in general be spooked/scared by my appearance. Hence want a relationship sprung out of friendship.

The problem is I want to be perfect. I don't want to have any reason to lack. I'd love to be in pristine shape and have a great career. But the fact that I think that I'd need to be that perfect for anyone to even be interested in me romantically is just plain sad.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that someone could like me. I honestly think I'm not good enough. On top of my crippling insecurities, I'm also scared that I'm gonna be cheated on or dumped due to the above reasons because women could always find someone better. I think I'm gonna be too much of a simp and not be respected towards the end.

Dating apps are a real confidence killer as well.

Has anyone ever been through this? Before they actually found the one.



Submitted May 11, 2022 at 01:03AM

M23 here. Just got back from a trip yesterday, scrolled through some pictures I clicked and realized that that was the reason I'm single. I'm 6'3 and 245 lbs, so I kinda stand out not exactly in the good way. My friends (not just the bros but my female friends too) say that I'm not as bad as I think I am. But I'm my worst enemy. I'm hard on myself. Whenever I'm in front of a mirror, I'm like I'm undatable. Working out has helped with minor spurts of confidence but not enough to muster up courage to ask someone out. I honestly think a woman who doesn't know me at all would in general be spooked/scared by my appearance. Hence want a relationship sprung out of friendship.The problem is I want to be perfect. I don't want to have any reason to lack. I'd love to be in pristine shape and have a great career. But the fact that I think that I'd need to be that perfect for anyone to even be interested in me romantically is just plain sad.I cannot wrap my head around the fact that someone could like me. I honestly think I'm not good enough. On top of my crippling insecurities, I'm also scared that I'm gonna be cheated on or dumped due to the above reasons because women could always find someone better. I think I'm gonna be too much of a simp and not be respected towards the end.Dating apps are a real confidence killer as well.Has anyone ever been through this? Before they actually found the one.
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