How to deal with hearing something about someone you’re dating

Hi everyone I just wanted to share this story because I actually feel sick and don’t really know how to accept what I’m hearing here so I want to get this off my chest because I dont know what to do. So I went on a few dates with a guy and I everything was going well until I was told how his child was conceived and now it has made me question his loyalty and honesty because I heard this from a friend who knows him well. I’ll refer to him as X.

Xs best friend of 15 years passed away and a few weeks later X ended up sleeping with dead best friends girlfriend as apparently they’d become close while they were grieving and she got pregnant and obviously kept the baby.

The whole thing seems very weird to me and especially that he didn’t tell me himself and the fact I had to find out from a mutual friend makes me question his loyalty and honesty. I would never in a million years sleep with my best friends boyfriend whether she’s alive or not I just find it super disrespectful.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this because I’m genuinely pretty shocked and don’t know whether I want advice or just to get it off my chest because as much as I’m trying to understand the situation I cannot fathom why you would basically shit on your dead mate like that especially so soon after his passing and it’s made me question his loyalty to someone who has just died 🤷🏻‍♀️ also looks like he has zero self respect nor any respect for the family of his dead friend, who were apparently overjoyed when they heard the girlfriend was pregnant because they tought it was their dead sons baby. The whole thing is making me feel dirty for sleeping with him and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Edit; I’ve spoken to my female friends and they’ve basically said what I was thinking which is “if he can do that to his dead best friend, imagine what he could do to you” 🤷🏻‍♀️



Submitted May 03, 2022 at 12:16AM

Hi everyone I just wanted to share this story because I actually feel sick and don’t really know how to accept what I’m hearing here so I want to get this off my chest because I dont know what to do. So I went on a few dates with a guy and I everything was going well until I was told how his child was conceived and now it has made me question his loyalty and honesty because I heard this from a friend who knows him well. I’ll refer to him as X.Xs best friend of 15 years passed away and a few weeks later X ended up sleeping with dead best friends girlfriend as apparently they’d become close while they were grieving and she got pregnant and obviously kept the baby.The whole thing seems very weird to me and especially that he didn’t tell me himself and the fact I had to find out from a mutual friend makes me question his loyalty and honesty. I would never in a million years sleep with my best friends boyfriend whether she’s alive or not I just find it super disrespectful.I don’t really know why I’m posting this because I’m genuinely pretty shocked and don’t know whether I want advice or just to get it off my chest because as much as I’m trying to understand the situation I cannot fathom why you would basically shit on your dead mate like that especially so soon after his passing and it’s made me question his loyalty to someone who has just died 🤷🏻‍♀️ also looks like he has zero self respect nor any respect for the family of his dead friend, who were apparently overjoyed when they heard the girlfriend was pregnant because they tought it was their dead sons baby. The whole thing is making me feel dirty for sleeping with him and I can’t stop thinking about it.Edit; I’ve spoken to my female friends and they’ve basically said what I was thinking which is “if he can do that to his dead best friend, imagine what he could do to you” 🤷🏻‍♀️
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