how do you know if it's the right person but wrong time?

Hey everyone - I (22F) am in an exclusive fwb relationship with one of my closest friends (25M) and I have been slowly falling for him. He graduates from our school this month, and I have a couple more years here. We talked and agreed that him leaving, plus what each of us were going through with our previous breakups, meant that a relationship wasn't quite doable right now. We ended up in a class together this semester and then went on a long weekend camping trip together, and since then we've been super close. We don't hang out every day, but we walk back from class three days a week and hang out and sleep together almost every weekend. I went on a long hike yesterday and when I got back he invited me over, I was expecting to have to tell him no because I didn't want to sleep with him but he ended up giving me literally the best massage of my life instead. He's also said that he'll come back up here often (he'll only live about an hour away) to help out a professor with a project and mentioned us still meeting up and hanging out every time he's here.

I'm stuck because his future goals and dreams align very closely with mine. Whenever we do anything together he asks me if things are okay/if I'm okay - every single time, no matter what. He has helped me build my self-confidence, and I feel comfortable talking about anything and everything with him. Last night he asked me if I was okay with our situation and I said I was, because I didn't really know how I would tell him any of this. I asked him what he thought and he said yes too, but I have no clue if he has other feelings and didn't want to express them because I didn't say anything. We didn't rule out a relationship in the future but boy I do not want to lose this man. I really feel like he's the right person for me but I'm not sure how to approach letting him go for a while even if we do end up together sometime in the future. Sorry that was a lot, I'm just confused (lol).



Submitted May 02, 2022 at 12:14AM

Hey everyone - I (22F) am in an exclusive fwb relationship with one of my closest friends (25M) and I have been slowly falling for him. He graduates from our school this month, and I have a couple more years here. We talked and agreed that him leaving, plus what each of us were going through with our previous breakups, meant that a relationship wasn't quite doable right now. We ended up in a class together this semester and then went on a long weekend camping trip together, and since then we've been super close. We don't hang out every day, but we walk back from class three days a week and hang out and sleep together almost every weekend. I went on a long hike yesterday and when I got back he invited me over, I was expecting to have to tell him no because I didn't want to sleep with him but he ended up giving me literally the best massage of my life instead. He's also said that he'll come back up here often (he'll only live about an hour away) to help out a professor with a project and mentioned us still meeting up and hanging out every time he's here.I'm stuck because his future goals and dreams align very closely with mine. Whenever we do anything together he asks me if things are okay/if I'm okay - every single time, no matter what. He has helped me build my self-confidence, and I feel comfortable talking about anything and everything with him. Last night he asked me if I was okay with our situation and I said I was, because I didn't really know how I would tell him any of this. I asked him what he thought and he said yes too, but I have no clue if he has other feelings and didn't want to express them because I didn't say anything. We didn't rule out a relationship in the future but boy I do not want to lose this man. I really feel like he's the right person for me but I'm not sure how to approach letting him go for a while even if we do end up together sometime in the future. Sorry that was a lot, I'm just confused (lol).
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