/u/An_Unlucky_Gamer on Had sex for the first time...
I had a partner for roughly a year and a half, which for what it's worth, it included having sex a bunch. Was it enjoyable? Barely. I enjoy my own company way better. Did I think I was sexually attracted to him? Yeah. Was I? No. Turns out I'm demisexual, and after a two year friend (and my breakup), I found out what sexual attraction is supposed to feel like.
I'm tired of how little we're being taught about what sexual or romantic attraction. I thought wanting x and y to be my friend was a crush. I thought feeling comfortable around someone meant I liked them romantically. Can you blame me? When people hypersexualize babies for so little as stare at a person of the opposite sex, we're just teaching them and nearby children that liking how a person looks means you have a crush on them.
I suffered for years bc I thought my emotions were those worthy of a relationship, while all they were was the comfort that I'm "normal". "This is what it's supposed to be". It was fucking not and when I express all these to certain people, I'm only being met with gaslighting and being infantilized. "You just haven't met the right person" or "you just haven't matured yet" is so fucking tiring, and then some of my (not as close anymore) friends decide to ship me with my aromantic best friend bc they are the sole person I'm sexually attracted to and it's sickening. It just feels like a violation of boundaries on everyone's sides.
Then I try to explain, to defend myself, but they have the audacity to insist. They insist that my experience isn't valid, or it's bound to change and I'm so fucking tired.
April 23, 2022 at 01:23AM
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