His ex is still living with him and we are “together”

The question: would you wait for him, be jealous, or committed and how would you move forward?

Situation: During summer last year myself (W30) met a guy (M36) in a summer vacation and we fell in love. He was back in the days 6-7 years in a relationship with a 5 years older girl, I was single. He is well financially situated, can’t really assume what his real income or job is, however he was in jail for some minor tax reasons, drinks and does cocaine when going out…Girl was loyal the whole time. We kept on seeing each other for 3 months and all this time I was requesting a plan, any indication how this should move forward as he was telling to everyone how he finally found his one love (me) and is happy. In his family there is history of cheating on one or two places and in mine too. So I broke up after three months as it became an emotional torture for me and I felt super bad for being the affair who’s ruining the relationship. Two weeks after we broke up he comes back saying he broke up with his girlfriend and now he needs time to go over it by himself. This all happened 2 months ago.

Today: Right now she’s still living in his apartment and looking for other places (apparently), they are living as two ghosts (according to him). he never told her there is another girl because he doesn’t want to be an asshole and cause an extra fight. The reason for his breakup were constant little fights and arguments, lack of harmony and separated life goals (she wants kids now he doesn’t want them with her, and not in next 2 years)…

We are talking on the phone every time she’s not there or he’s out of the house. He’s talking about plans for us two for this and next year. During this affair I met a lot of his friends and I like them. Also his relatives (but not parents). Btw we are living 2-3 hours away from each other, so this has been a “short distance” relationship where we saw each other twice a month for two days each…

What is your feeling about this?

Thank you 🙏🏼

Submitted January 04, 2022 at 12:18AM

The question: would you wait for him, be jealous, or committed and how would you move forward?Situation: During summer last year myself (W30) met a guy (M36) in a summer vacation and we fell in love. He was back in the days 6-7 years in a relationship with a 5 years older girl, I was single. He is well financially situated, can’t really assume what his real income or job is, however he was in jail for some minor tax reasons, drinks and does cocaine when going out…Girl was loyal the whole time. We kept on seeing each other for 3 months and all this time I was requesting a plan, any indication how this should move forward as he was telling to everyone how he finally found his one love (me) and is happy. In his family there is history of cheating on one or two places and in mine too. So I broke up after three months as it became an emotional torture for me and I felt super bad for being the affair who’s ruining the relationship. Two weeks after we broke up he comes back saying he broke up with his girlfriend and now he needs time to go over it by himself. This all happened 2 months ago.Today: Right now she’s still living in his apartment and looking for other places (apparently), they are living as two ghosts (according to him). he never told her there is another girl because he doesn’t want to be an asshole and cause an extra fight. The reason for his breakup were constant little fights and arguments, lack of harmony and separated life goals (she wants kids now he doesn’t want them with her, and not in next 2 years)…We are talking on the phone every time she’s not there or he’s out of the house. He’s talking about plans for us two for this and next year. During this affair I met a lot of his friends and I like them. Also his relatives (but not parents). Btw we are living 2-3 hours away from each other, so this has been a “short distance” relationship where we saw each other twice a month for two days each…What is your feeling about this?Thank you 🙏🏼