Dating as someone who is physically/sexually affectionate but waiting to go all the way.

Hi all, I’m (24M) [attracted to women / trans women/ femme-presenting NB folx] trying to figure out how to date while maintaining my sexual boundaries.

I feel as if I attract 2 polar opposite types of people: ones who immediately want to have sex and won’t settle for anything less, or ones that do not want to be physically intimate until marriage.

I’m the kind of person who enjoys physical intimacy and definitely needs it in a relationship, but I also want to comfortably progress through sexual intimacy at my own pace rather than feeling like I’m at 400m sprint or in an ultra-marathon.

For a long time I would date the latter type of person but that would leave me feeling unloved and anxious. Not to mention I would end up suppressing a natural part of myself and feel ashamed whenever I wanted things as simple as a kiss.

So my question is how lol? I get that the obvious answer is to explicitly tell them boundaries/expectations early on. But realistically speaking as a MoC (even a confident and dare-i-say attractive one) the amount of matches or opportunities I get to start something are fairly limited. And from personal experience whenever I am upfront, women seem to get offended or ghost. Which is sorta wack.



Submitted December 18, 2021 at 01:15AM

Hi all, I’m (24M) [attracted to women / trans women/ femme-presenting NB folx] trying to figure out how to date while maintaining my sexual boundaries.I feel as if I attract 2 polar opposite types of people: ones who immediately want to have sex and won’t settle for anything less, or ones that do not want to be physically intimate until marriage.I’m the kind of person who enjoys physical intimacy and definitely needs it in a relationship, but I also want to comfortably progress through sexual intimacy at my own pace rather than feeling like I’m at 400m sprint or in an ultra-marathon.For a long time I would date the latter type of person but that would leave me feeling unloved and anxious. Not to mention I would end up suppressing a natural part of myself and feel ashamed whenever I wanted things as simple as a kiss.So my question is how lol? I get that the obvious answer is to explicitly tell them boundaries/expectations early on. But realistically speaking as a MoC (even a confident and dare-i-say attractive one) the amount of matches or opportunities I get to start something are fairly limited. And from personal experience whenever I am upfront, women seem to get offended or ghost. Which is sorta wack.
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