/u/passthefist on What was your coming out story?

First time wasn't really coming out, we were at a strip club in Vegas cause a few of the girls we were with wanted to go to a Vegas strip club because, Vegas (they were Irish). I was on my phone when one of the dancers came up to me and I said "I'm basically asexual outside relationships" to like, tell her I wasn't interested in a nice-ish way. At the time, though, it was more just something to get out of the situation, but looking back I should have known then.

One of the friends I was with asked me about that later, and I gave it a bit of thought but then kinda didn't think about it for a while. I just rolled with it even though I didn't have any real understanding of asexuality at the time. I've never had a clear picture of my sexuality, really, though that was kinda the start of figuring stuff out. A few years later I checked out asexuality a bit but only enough to realize it might actually fit.

About two months ago my therapist was pushing me to start dating, and I kinda pushed back in that same way as at the strip club, but this time it felt better to say. I've been feeling a lot more comfortable with myself identifying as ace, even though it doesn't fit perfectly, and been fairly open with my friends and roommates about it. Ironically, I think telling one of my roommates accidentally crossed an emotional connection boundary with him I didn't know was there and I realized I'm kinda crushing/squishing on him, which is a fun new development.

I still don't fully get where I'm at, but def somewhere between pan and ace, and def aromantic, so aroace works for now. There's just too much I see from other aces that resonates with me to ignore. Like, I read Ace by Angela Chen (highly recommended) and all kinds of things started making sense about myself. Haha so my coming out story has been an adventure, and still ongoing.

So far, most people have been accepting or at least not negative, which has been great.





April 05, 2021 at 11:59PM
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