/u/bizzadizz on My partner came out as asexual after I discovered they were cheating

I dunno, I mean obviously he should have anticipated the fact that you'd be hurt by his behavior, if he's a grown-up he ought to anticipate that.

That being said, people deal with their feelings of inadequacy in weird not entirely logical ways sometimes. As someone who's basically aegosexual, I can sometimes get aroused from movies, books etc. and for a long time that was the only thing that made me feel "normal," even though I wasn't able to be turned on by people in my real life and never wanted real-life sex.

It could very well be that the porn etc. was sort of a way to self-soothe for someone who CAN get turned on by a fantasy and is frustrated with an inability to feel that way about real life, to make himself feel less inadequate. 🤷‍♀️

You certainly have the right to be mad that he's didn't think about your feelings in all of this, but it's possible that he was just dealing with his own insecurity in an unhealthy way, and that now that you and he know better what's going on with him, things will legitimately be okay.





November 18, 2020 at 11:55PM
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