/u/1nocturnalsonofagun on How do you deal with that nasty little feeling that you don't belong anywhere and in reality are just broken?

While I haven’t been told that I’m mentally ill based on me being different, I relate to your post quite a bit. Even though I have found this amazing community, some of the doubts remain and make it hard to admit to myself that I’m probably ace and reinforce this feeling of being broken and alone. It’s really scary and I’m sorry that you go through that as well.

I have not yet found a way to let those thoughts disappear permanently but there are a few thing that help me feel better if the voices are getting too loud.

  • Interaction with others on this subreddit and also in the Chatroom on here is definitely the greatest support for me. Even if I don’t comment on others posts, just seeing and grasping that there are other people like me out there, a welcoming, supportive community, already helps a lot. I’ve a at least a virtual place I belong to, where my experiences are seen as what they are, where I’m reminded that my feelings are valid, that I’m not broken.

  • The wiki here is also very interesting to me, especially because I’m still questioning. It’s really informative and I’ve toyed with the idea to make an “Ace-Checklist” for myself to find out which common asexual experiences I relate to most and in attempt to clear up where I fall exactly on the spectrum. So far it has been incredibly reaffirming reading through the wiki.

  • Trying to build confidence by telling myself that even if I eventually find out that I’m not ace, that would be okay as well - the part I as of now struggle the most with. Feelings are complicated and fear isn’t rational. Maybe if I accept that fear it will get better with time.

  • Reminding myself that while sexuality is a reasonable big part of a persons identity, there are other things that make me me and that make you you. Quirks, preferences, relationships with others, life experiences. At the end of the day, one’s sexuality is just one piece of the giant puzzle.

  • Doing things that make me feel better. Like reading a book, or watching videos of cute fluffy kittens. I’m someone who always ‘overthinks’ and worries ‘what if...’ so sometimes, relaxing puts things in a different perspective. And it feels great too.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. Remember that you aren’t broken, you aren’t alone, you are entirely valid! All the best to you :)





June 20, 2020 at 11:51PM
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