Are some marriages destined to last for a lifetime? And others...not so much?

I love my husband. I respect and admire him. We have a beautiful family and life together.

If you had asked me 10-20-25 years ago, there was literally no one on earth I would rather grow old with than my husband. I think we were probably one of those couples who made other, more realistic couples, secretly barf behind closed doors. Thinking about us then, I want to barf now...

Somewhere along the line, something changed. Big time. To the point where I cannot imagine growing old with this person. I am devastated. I cry all the time. I spend hours calculating how long until my kids and pets will all be gone and I will truly be alone and miserable.

Yeah we have a pretty much dead bedroom despite two tries at sex therapy. We have sex once or twice a month. He isn't all that enthusiastic about oral, and never lasts more than 60-90 seconds PiV. I never orgasm. Doesn't generate much enthusiasm on my part for the next time.

I own that I have been complicit in letting things get to this point. Truly, half of the responsibility is mine. But I have no idea how to even take one step back into a better place right now.

Anyone else? Is it just me? How can I stare down the barrel of 10 more years of this before I will even have the chance to be free?



Submitted June 18, 2020 at 12:00AM

I love my husband. I respect and admire him. We have a beautiful family and life together.If you had asked me 10-20-25 years ago, there was literally no one on earth I would rather grow old with than my husband. I think we were probably one of those couples who made other, more realistic couples, secretly barf behind closed doors. Thinking about us then, I want to barf now...Somewhere along the line, something changed. Big time. To the point where I cannot imagine growing old with this person. I am devastated. I cry all the time. I spend hours calculating how long until my kids and pets will all be gone and I will truly be alone and miserable.Yeah we have a pretty much dead bedroom despite two tries at sex therapy. We have sex once or twice a month. He isn't all that enthusiastic about oral, and never lasts more than 60-90 seconds PiV. I never orgasm. Doesn't generate much enthusiasm on my part for the next time.I own that I have been complicit in letting things get to this point. Truly, half of the responsibility is mine. But I have no idea how to even take one step back into a better place right now.Anyone else? Is it just me? How can I stare down the barrel of 10 more years of this before I will even have the chance to be free?
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