One of my close friends sent me an infographic about it via text with “I think this might be you.” when I was in college. I was sitting in my lofted bunk bed and my college roommate (and one of my closest friends) was sitting in her bed across the room. I read it and everything just kind of fell into place. I finally felt like everything just made sense and it was incredible. All the dirty jokes I never understood. All the excuses I made to not go on dates. The fact that is never wanted to sleep with someone and that kissing just seemed unsanitary and uninteresting. So many little things in my life that finally made sense. Unfortunately I spent the next eight years constantly questioning whether or not it was true and maybe all the people who said “you just haven’t met the right person yet” we’re right as I desperately tried to make my societally-ingrained “dreams” come true. I’m 27 now and I’ve realized that my dreams are to come home and cozy up with a book or manga and my cats. To...

I’d say I’m mildly kinky. For me it’s about having fun playing the part or doing something that’s not inherently sexual but is read as sexual by my partner. I can straddle that line between actually sexual and not and it’s fun and exciting. I also kind of view it as playing a game? And the kinks are the things that make it interesting. Now I’m pretty tame. I mostly just enjoy some rope play and spanking. Mainly because they seriously add to my partners experience but don’t feel overly sexualized from my end. September 20, 2021 at 12:45AM

For me, kink feels completely different to anything sexual. It's not something I'm aroused by or anything like that, I just enjoy the activity. September 20, 2021 at 12:43AM

I'm not really sure of my specific label, but I just go with asexual. I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, but I go from sex repulsed to sex neutral if I have a deep emotional connection with someone. I'm sure this is quite common. September 20, 2021 at 12:40AM

The phrase "looking at x through the lens of y" has helped a lot. You've spent your whole life looking at your romantic orientation through the lens of, well, not realizing it could be separate from your sexual orientation. Now that you realize they can be separate, and are looking at it through that lens, I'm not surprised a lot of us are also questioning our romantic identity. I'm trying to just embrace that questioning as "I didn't have the information before to really know myself fully on this topic, and now I do. So let's explore it." September 20, 2021 at 12:39AM

I 24F want to swing with my 26M fiancé! He is very into the idea, and we have been actively seeking out potential partners. Is there anything specific we should know before hand, any tips/tricks? It has been extremely hard to find another couple thus far- in ontario canada ! Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:42AM I 24F want to swing with my 26M fiancé! He is very into the idea, and we have been actively seeking out potential partners. Is there anything specific we should know before hand, any tips/tricks? It has been extremely hard to find another couple thus far- in ontario canada !

I’m 21 years old, and have done this since I lost my virginity. Regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or single and hooking up, I find that I’ve set very unrealistic standards when it comes for my sexual performance, and sometime can’t make good on them. For example, I have a rule that I won’t finish until the woman I’m involved with has finished at least once, preferably more; or a rule that positional changes need to be frequent if the girl isn’t moaning. If I don’t get the girl to finish by the time we’re tired out, I just refuse to finish, even on my own, as if I haven’t earned it. To give context, I am very dominant, I am honest and up front with things like size, and always under-promise, and do my best to over-deliver in terms of what will take place during an encounter, so there’s no unannounced expectations. Any tips for being less harsh? Is what I’m doing normal? Is this considered toxic even though it’s against myself? Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:43AM I’m...