Hello! So, to answer your question, (although I'm no expert) sexual arousal is the feeling of genuinely wanting to have sex with someone, (for example, seeing someone and then wanting to have sex with them, etc) and then there's being aroused by seeing someone else be sexually pleased (I don't know how else to say it) which isn't you being pleased or aroused by having sex or wanting to have sex, it's being pleased or aroused by seeing someone else have those feelings. I'm sorry if that got a bit complicated😅 Also I completely understand how confusing the microlabels are, I'm not sure whether I'm just neutral-ace, or if I'm gray, or aego, or what.😬 January 25, 2021 at 12:01AM

It's hard for some people to understand things that they can't relate to. Some may say those things thinking it's something you want to hear (to comfort you) while others have definitely more harmful intentions. Don't let that discourage you. You can tell them when you are ready. If they don't react the way you hope, just remember that it won't invalidate who you are or feel. January 25, 2021 at 12:00AM

That was such a god tier way to describe it! January 24, 2021 at 11:53PM

Oh are you Friend? Hi Friend! January 24, 2021 at 11:53PM

Hey☺️ January 24, 2021 at 11:53PM

Asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction and has no bearing on whether or not you enjoy sex or have it frequently. There are however subcategories within asexuality that describe feelings toward sex and one is being sex neutral which you may wish to look into. Based on what you said you could just be looking for different relationships to everyone else you're comparing yourself too, or you could be asexual. Do you think you have felt sexually attracted to anyone before? Some other labels on the ace spectrum such as demisexual or gray asexual might be more fitting as well and are worth checking out. Best of luck! January 24, 2021 at 11:52PM

I appreciate it. It's been a difficult road dealing with my loss for three years by myself. But I did notice I changed afterwards, I didn't know what it was until I saw an episode on BoJack horseman where the character Todd was talking about being asexual. Then I realized that is what happened to me. I got friends that take me to the store sometimes and they're always telling me look at those hot chicks, and yeah if it was normal start from stances I would be attracted to them but I'm not. Not even to the ones that are wearing super skimpy clothes I just have no interest. And I know I'm not gay because I never had feelings like that for men. So I am asexual and I enjoyed being with my wife for 18 years. But now I think I can be happy, to which I am by being by myself. Having friends is great, but that's all there will ever be. And I'm good with that. Thank you so much for your kind reply I do appreciate it. January 24, 2021 at 11:45PM