Can't understand my feelings

I (20M) am a university student and was preparing for the exams with my friends last summer. The friend group consists 6 people and 3 of them know each other from high school. During this study period, a girl (21) (let's say Kate) that is their friend from high school but wasn't around too much since she studies different subject at a different building. After 1-2 days she started to hang out with us, one of the girls (20) (Sarah) that knows her from the high school and that is also someone I consider a good friend started to talk to me privately about how good we look together. I was very busy in that period so I said that I'm not interested in her. Even though I said that several times, she continued to tell these stuff and went even further talk about this in public. This happened nearly everyday for a month. I think it wouldn't happen if Kate wasn't happy about it. However, I said "no" and "I'm not interested" at first and kept this stance when friends asked about, even though I started to think that we could have something nice. After exams we had our summer break and I didn't see none of the friends and I noticed that I miss Kate and became aware that I like her.

When we came back to university, I learned from a friend that Sarah had a crush on me back in winter-spring and mentioned me as her flirt, but we never flirted or something like that. I only saw her as a good friend When I learned this, I thought she brought the "you look together" topic everyday because I said "no" to it. It might boost her ego since Kate is the objectively better looking girl. Now I have a weird dynamic with Kate, we can't be friends like others in the group also can't flirt because of me saying no billion times (she wouldn't do anything in romantic way until I do) and I can't do anything because of my pride (and I'm stubborn af). Sarah stands between us seems like a friend but always brings out other peoples names when I and Kate have a good convo.

Now, what can I do now? How can I talk to Kate privately without influence of Sarah?(because they are "good friends" and I know what I tell will get delivered at Sarah at first stage)

Thanks in advance



Submitted January 19, 2024 at 12:14AM

I (20M) am a university student and was preparing for the exams with my friends last summer. The friend group consists 6 people and 3 of them know each other from high school. During this study period, a girl (21) (let's say Kate) that is their friend from high school but wasn't around too much since she studies different subject at a different building. After 1-2 days she started to hang out with us, one of the girls (20) (Sarah) that knows her from the high school and that is also someone I consider a good friend started to talk to me privately about how good we look together. I was very busy in that period so I said that I'm not interested in her. Even though I said that several times, she continued to tell these stuff and went even further talk about this in public. This happened nearly everyday for a month. I think it wouldn't happen if Kate wasn't happy about it. However, I said "no" and "I'm not interested" at first and kept this stance when friends asked about, even though I started to think that we could have something nice. After exams we had our summer break and I didn't see none of the friends and I noticed that I miss Kate and became aware that I like her.When we came back to university, I learned from a friend that Sarah had a crush on me back in winter-spring and mentioned me as her flirt, but we never flirted or something like that. I only saw her as a good friend When I learned this, I thought she brought the "you look together" topic everyday because I said "no" to it. It might boost her ego since Kate is the objectively better looking girl. Now I have a weird dynamic with Kate, we can't be friends like others in the group also can't flirt because of me saying no billion times (she wouldn't do anything in romantic way until I do) and I can't do anything because of my pride (and I'm stubborn af). Sarah stands between us seems like a friend but always brings out other peoples names when I and Kate have a good convo.Now, what can I do now? How can I talk to Kate privately without influence of Sarah?(because they are "good friends" and I know what I tell will get delivered at Sarah at first stage)Thanks in advance
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