/u/9shadowcat9 on My asexual girlfriend sent me a BDSM checklist-am I overreacting, or is our relationship over?
I’m aroace and like bondage. Have an open conversation with her about what you are and aren’t comfortable with. You’re both allowed hard limits, but these need to be communicated. She sent you a check list? You’ve already spotted things you know you refuse to do? Great. You have the start of the talk. Don’t let her talk you into anything you don’t feel comfortable with, some of what you’ve listed can be a lot even for an experienced Dom. And I’m side eying the breath play listing. That shit is dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Bondage can be great because it’s intimate. But you’re also putting a lot of trust in each other. Go slowly, try not to push yourself. Your feelings are just as important as hers and you have the right to stop the session if you’re also overwhelmed.
But I’m sure it’ll be fine, Just remember to always communicate what you are and aren’t comfortable with and stick to what you agreed.
Also, and I can’t stress this enough, make sure you both know the safe word and use aftercare. Aftercare is just as much for you as it is for her.
August 01, 2023 at 11:32PM
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