Sudden Change in Behavior After Lots of Time Together

Posted this elsewhere, but looking for more input. Incoming wall of text.

About 4 weeks ago, I met this chick at a bar while out on a Friday. I approached her because I thought she was cute, and we talked a little a hit it off. I texted her that night that I was taking her out on a date that week, to which she playfully asked me if I did that with every girl I meet at the bar. We mutually agreed on a place to go and the plan was set.

First date went well (4 hours) and I kissed her at the end, second date (three days later) was even better (4 hours) and we made out in my car. This night, she invited me to go on a trip with her to Miami at the end of July, to which I told her I'd think about it (she really wanted me to go). Third date was at a drive-in in which we got intimate in the back of an SUV and spent seven hours together (however, I was not able to get it up, and this continued to be a problem until recently due to performance anxiety). After that night, we basically saw each other each night for the next 5 days, besides one, and each time we hung out it was for 4+ hours. Each of those times involved making out, oral, etc and I was able to help her out, even though I was having problems getting things going. In total, we've been on 8 or so dates and have connected wonderfully. Ever since our first date, she was always very excited to text me and sent me random things throughout the day which included flirting, sexual talk, etc. She was even the one who initiated most of our dates/hangouts and was frequently asking me what I was doing on X day.

This all changed suddenly around the 4th of July. I was over at her house Monday night/Tuesday morning for a movie night that lasted until 6AM, and I drove home (staying wasn't an option being that it was her parent's house). When I woke up, she had asked me what I was doing that evening and invited me to see fireworks. I agreed, and she said that she also wanted me to meet her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. Everything was fine throughout the day and she was texting me as normal.

I picked her up at 9:45, and when she got in the car, not even a kiss. I thought it was a little odd because that was usually her first course of action. We drove to the firework show, which had started earlier than expected, and we only spent 15 minutes there. This whole time she was being a bit quiet, but she's kind of a quiet girl anyways. I took her back home expecting her to ask to hang out more (we had spent several nights just hanging out in my car), but she just said "I have to go" and gave me a kiss and got out. We hadn't even been together for an hour at that point, and its a 30 minute drive, roughly. She usually would text me to let her know when I made it home...nothing.

The next day I texted her with good news about something I had informed her about which I probably shouldn't have. Basically, to get over my performance anxiety, I ordered some tadalafil and I had let her know that it arrivied. She didn't seem to care too much just sending me pretty dry responses, which was very atypical of her. She was sending me 20+ texts a day, down to about 3 short replies. No more asking me when I am free, suggesting random hanggouts, etc. To test the waters, I asked her on a date for this past Saturday back to the drive-in we had been to. She agreed, and I told her I'd pick her up at 8:15 on Saturday.

On Friday, I went out to the bar again because I felt that she was fading away from me. I get a text at 12:20AM saying "okay sounds goooood" to the last text I had sent on Thursday night. 20 minutes later, I am waiting outside for an Uber and just so happen to lock eyes with her while she was walking down the sidewalk with a group. I said "Hi" and she said "Hi" back, and her friends said "Oh no, not X (my name)" and laughed. At this point, I was confused because she didn't even stop to have a conversation or give me a hug. I think she was more shocked to see me than anything, as was I.

I then texted her "see you tonight sweetheart" to which she replied "are we still on for tonight?". Not sure why she asked after I confirmed, but I just played it cool.

We had our date on Saturday, and at first she was kind of cold phyiscally, but eventually she warmed up and was back to her normal self. We cuddled, made out, took a nap, and finally had sex because my comfort level had built with her. The sex was mediocre, and it didn't last very long (she got tired on top), but I was so excited to have finally got it up and in, even briefly. To end the night, we tried missionary, but I went soft because it took a little while to figure out. She became frustrated and said "I think you're just not good at this position" and "I think we should just leave"..ouch. I jokingly said "Well yeah, it's my first time trying it" and laughed. I made sure to get her off through other means just so she'd be satisfied, however I never got off. I was disappointed, and perhaps she noticed because it was a quiet car ride to her place. However, it was 4AM and we had been together for 8 hours.

I messaged her Sunday telling her I had a great time and to let me know when she'd be free to get ice cream. She had mentioned during the previous night that she wanted to go back to an ice cream place we had been to for our second date, followed by a walk in the park. She said "of courseee I'll let you know" and then double texted me a few hours later regarding something we had talked about. Still, her replies have been dry, sporadic, and she is not putting in nearly the same amount of effort that she had been. It was always "I miss you", "Cant wait to see you", etc. but now nothing.

Yesterday I asked her if she'd like to go to a nature preserve with me today, to which she replied that she is working full time again and can't go. She hadn't been working in the previous weeks but was back which was unbeknownst to me. I said "No worries, just thought I'd invite you" and haven't heard from her since which is really odd considering that she practically love bombed me for the past three weeks. I am leaving the ball in her court, but I am confused as to why her behavior suddenly changed about a week ago. Could be work related, or possibly the dreaded slow fade.

I want to message her regarding the Miami trip she invited me on to tell her that I would be interested in going now, but I don't want to come off too eager. However, it is time sensitive considering it's at the end of July. I've bascially told her to let me know when she's free, but considering how much time we've spent with each other, I don't think double texting her once would be a deal breaker, however I do not want to overpurse and come off clingy. What should I do moving forward? I want to take a positive approach, but I do feel like she's trying to fade away. I am a bit hung up because this girl (23F) has been several "firsts" for me.

Submitted July 12, 2023 at 12:14AM

Posted this elsewhere, but looking for more input. Incoming wall of text.About 4 weeks ago, I met this chick at a bar while out on a Friday. I approached her because I thought she was cute, and we talked a little a hit it off. I texted her that night that I was taking her out on a date that week, to which she playfully asked me if I did that with every girl I meet at the bar. We mutually agreed on a place to go and the plan was set.First date went well (4 hours) and I kissed her at the end, second date (three days later) was even better (4 hours) and we made out in my car. This night, she invited me to go on a trip with her to Miami at the end of July, to which I told her I'd think about it (she really wanted me to go). Third date was at a drive-in in which we got intimate in the back of an SUV and spent seven hours together (however, I was not able to get it up, and this continued to be a problem until recently due to performance anxiety). After that night, we basically saw each other each night for the next 5 days, besides one, and each time we hung out it was for 4+ hours. Each of those times involved making out, oral, etc and I was able to help her out, even though I was having problems getting things going. In total, we've been on 8 or so dates and have connected wonderfully. Ever since our first date, she was always very excited to text me and sent me random things throughout the day which included flirting, sexual talk, etc. She was even the one who initiated most of our dates/hangouts and was frequently asking me what I was doing on X day.This all changed suddenly around the 4th of July. I was over at her house Monday night/Tuesday morning for a movie night that lasted until 6AM, and I drove home (staying wasn't an option being that it was her parent's house). When I woke up, she had asked me what I was doing that evening and invited me to see fireworks. I agreed, and she said that she also wanted me to meet her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. Everything was fine throughout the day and she was texting me as normal. I picked her up at 9:45, and when she got in the car, not even a kiss. I thought it was a little odd because that was usually her first course of action. We drove to the firework show, which had started earlier than expected, and we only spent 15 minutes there. This whole time she was being a bit quiet, but she's kind of a quiet girl anyways. I took her back home expecting her to ask to hang out more (we had spent several nights just hanging out in my car), but she just said "I have to go" and gave me a kiss and got out. We hadn't even been together for an hour at that point, and its a 30 minute drive, roughly. She usually would text me to let her know when I made it home...nothing. The next day I texted her with good news about something I had informed her about which I probably shouldn't have. Basically, to get over my performance anxiety, I ordered some tadalafil and I had let her know that it arrivied. She didn't seem to care too much just sending me pretty dry responses, which was very atypical of her. She was sending me 20+ texts a day, down to about 3 short replies. No more asking me when I am free, suggesting random hanggouts, etc. To test the waters, I asked her on a date for this past Saturday back to the drive-in we had been to. She agreed, and I told her I'd pick her up at 8:15 on Saturday. On Friday, I went out to the bar again because I felt that she was fading away from me. I get a text at 12:20AM saying "okay sounds goooood" to the last text I had sent on Thursday night. 20 minutes later, I am waiting outside for an Uber and just so happen to lock eyes with her while she was walking down the sidewalk with a group. I said "Hi" and she said "Hi" back, and her friends said "Oh no, not X (my name)" and laughed. At this point, I was confused because she didn't even stop to have a conversation or give me a hug. I think she was more shocked to see me than anything, as was I.I then texted her "see you tonight sweetheart" to which she replied "are we still on for tonight?". Not sure why she asked after I confirmed, but I just played it cool. We had our date on Saturday, and at first she was kind of cold phyiscally, but eventually she warmed up and was back to her normal self. We cuddled, made out, took a nap, and finally had sex because my comfort level had built with her. The sex was mediocre, and it didn't last very long (she got tired on top), but I was so excited to have finally got it up and in, even briefly. To end the night, we tried missionary, but I went soft because it took a little while to figure out. She became frustrated and said "I think you're just not good at this position" and "I think we should just leave"..ouch. I jokingly said "Well yeah, it's my first time trying it" and laughed. I made sure to get her off through other means just so she'd be satisfied, however I never got off. I was disappointed, and perhaps she noticed because it was a quiet car ride to her place. However, it was 4AM and we had been together for 8 hours. I messaged her Sunday telling her I had a great time and to let me know when she'd be free to get ice cream. She had mentioned during the previous night that she wanted to go back to an ice cream place we had been to for our second date, followed by a walk in the park. She said "of courseee I'll let you know" and then double texted me a few hours later regarding something we had talked about. Still, her replies have been dry, sporadic, and she is not putting in nearly the same amount of effort that she had been. It was always "I miss you", "Cant wait to see you", etc. but now nothing.Yesterday I asked her if she'd like to go to a nature preserve with me today, to which she replied that she is working full time again and can't go. She hadn't been working in the previous weeks but was back which was unbeknownst to me. I said "No worries, just thought I'd invite you" and haven't heard from her since which is really odd considering that she practically love bombed me for the past three weeks. I am leaving the ball in her court, but I am confused as to why her behavior suddenly changed about a week ago. Could be work related, or possibly the dreaded slow fade. I want to message her regarding the Miami trip she invited me on to tell her that I would be interested in going now, but I don't want to come off too eager. However, it is time sensitive considering it's at the end of July. I've bascially told her to let me know when she's free, but considering how much time we've spent with each other, I don't think double texting her once would be a deal breaker, however I do not want to overpurse and come off clingy. What should I do moving forward? I want to take a positive approach, but I do feel like she's trying to fade away. I am a bit hung up because this girl (23F) has been several "firsts" for me.