Struggling with comparing new girlfriend to ex-when to give it time and when to break it off?

I’m 23, I got in my first relationship about a year ago with this girl I met online. She was very funny and opinionated which was really attractive to me. We could laugh and talk for forever about simple things, spending time with her was always so fun and exciting. She broke up with me after about six months for unrelated commitment issues that didn’t have much to do with how we meshed as individuals. I was really happy with her so I was pretty bummed about the breakup. I remained close friends with her after the breakup for a few months which I regret, as it hasn’t helped me in getting over her if I’m being 100% honest with myself. A couple months ago I stopped reaching out to her when I was getting more serious with my girlfriend.

About 3 months ago, I met my current girlfriend. She has a lot of great qualities. she’s kind, very loyal to her close friends and family, loves to laugh and smile. I’m very attracted to her physically. But she is so so different from my previous girlfriend and I find myself wishing she was my ex in certain ways. My current gf is very timid, her social skills aren’t amazing due to some anxiety. She isn’t quite as witty as my ex and we run out of things to talk about, I’m always the one coming up with conversation topics.

I know that no person is perfect, and my current gf does check a ton of boxes. I’m curious if people have advice on when something is a dealbreaker and when it’s worth investing time into the relationship.



Submitted July 26, 2023 at 12:15AM

I’m 23, I got in my first relationship about a year ago with this girl I met online. She was very funny and opinionated which was really attractive to me. We could laugh and talk for forever about simple things, spending time with her was always so fun and exciting. She broke up with me after about six months for unrelated commitment issues that didn’t have much to do with how we meshed as individuals. I was really happy with her so I was pretty bummed about the breakup. I remained close friends with her after the breakup for a few months which I regret, as it hasn’t helped me in getting over her if I’m being 100% honest with myself. A couple months ago I stopped reaching out to her when I was getting more serious with my girlfriend.About 3 months ago, I met my current girlfriend. She has a lot of great qualities. she’s kind, very loyal to her close friends and family, loves to laugh and smile. I’m very attracted to her physically. But she is so so different from my previous girlfriend and I find myself wishing she was my ex in certain ways. My current gf is very timid, her social skills aren’t amazing due to some anxiety. She isn’t quite as witty as my ex and we run out of things to talk about, I’m always the one coming up with conversation topics. I know that no person is perfect, and my current gf does check a ton of boxes. I’m curious if people have advice on when something is a dealbreaker and when it’s worth investing time into the relationship.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more