I’m attracting depressed men

I’m officially done with dating anyway but I was reflecting and notice behavior with SOME men I’ve spoken to. My ex (5 years ago) used to say, “you probably wouldn’t want me.” Then I helped him go to therapy because he was severely depressed. He had a lot of issues which I get we all do, but eventually it became too much because I was dedicating majority of my time to make sure he’s ok.

Then I swiped with some guy on tinder a long time ago and the first thing he says is, “I’m too ugly, why would you want to talk to me?” I unmatched because he was really putting himself down so much to the point it was annoying.

Then if you read my last post on this subreddit, this guy says, I wouldn’t want him anyway because he’s, “pretty messed up.”

I have a few more stories but I’m not typing all of that. I notice a trend but here’s my theory… I think it’s a manipulation tactic to get me to feel sorry for them? And it worked 😭 at least for my ex it worked lol. I should seek therapy myself because why do I do this to myself 😂😂 and I’m being serious because I can’t blame the men 100%, it’s obviously something with me. Idk I’m just opening a discussion for anyone else who has a similar issue. I’m 26F btw



Submitted May 23, 2023 at 01:13AM

I’m officially done with dating anyway but I was reflecting and notice behavior with SOME men I’ve spoken to. My ex (5 years ago) used to say, “you probably wouldn’t want me.” Then I helped him go to therapy because he was severely depressed. He had a lot of issues which I get we all do, but eventually it became too much because I was dedicating majority of my time to make sure he’s ok. Then I swiped with some guy on tinder a long time ago and the first thing he says is, “I’m too ugly, why would you want to talk to me?” I unmatched because he was really putting himself down so much to the point it was annoying. Then if you read my last post on this subreddit, this guy says, I wouldn’t want him anyway because he’s, “pretty messed up.” I have a few more stories but I’m not typing all of that. I notice a trend but here’s my theory… I think it’s a manipulation tactic to get me to feel sorry for them? And it worked 😭 at least for my ex it worked lol. I should seek therapy myself because why do I do this to myself 😂😂 and I’m being serious because I can’t blame the men 100%, it’s obviously something with me. Idk I’m just opening a discussion for anyone else who has a similar issue. I’m 26F btw
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