My (25F) boyfriend (23M) ghosted me and I need advice for how to move on.

I already shared this in r/relationship_advice but thought I could also get some help here maybe? Idk I’m still just pretty distraught about everything.

Warning: This is LONG and I don’t know how to condense it to be any shorter.

I don’t know how believable this sounds but my life has honestly turned into a bad Reddit post and I’m still in shock.

For context: my boyfriend (Joe) and I have known each other for ~4 years. We were best friends for a year, dated for just over a year, and broke up for abt a year. We broke up the first time because he was struggling with who he was and it seemed like he was going down some dark paths I was uncomfortable with, as well as a general lack of communication. In December I reached out bc I missed having him in my life and we got back together almost immediately.

We have been back together for 5-ish months (neither of us kept an exact date bc we’ve already done the whole “count down the months” or whatever) and it’s been nothing short of wonderful. There was great communication and effort on both sides, and things were at an all time high.

Saturday, we went to a small comic con with his friends and brother, and it went great! We ended the night on a high note, cuddled a little, kissed goodnight and he said he’d text me when he got home.

And then blocked me on everything by the next night.

I’m still reeling because like, we had plans this weekend to go to a butterfly exhibit (a date he planned), my birthday was coming up, he ordered a fancy, expensive promise ring, etc. All the signs were there that he fully intended on being together right now.

At first I thought maybe he was just crashed out at home because he was exhausted when he left and it was his day off. Then I started to get worried and sent a few “Hey babe, I hope everything is okay. I love you. Please message when you have a chance”’s. I realized I was blocked when I tried to message over discord and it wouldn’t send.

But even then I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and sent a “Hey, I’m not trying to jump the gun but are you intentionally ignoring me?” and tried to call (How I realized my number was also blocked.

So, like a moron, instead of coming to the conclusion that he had ghosted me, I thought maybe something had happened with his family situation (they don’t like me and have been controlling in the past) so I put a sticky on his car to meet at a nearby location right before he would be leaving for work and it finally sank in that it was him avoiding me willingly when he literally drove the other way to avoid me. I couldn’t believe it at first.

Now, 4 days and about 50 unanswered calls later, it’s finally sunk in. I went to his place earlier to ask for my stuff in his car back, and was informed by his dad that he literally skipped town to stay with his other brother 3 hours away.

I just, I don’t know what to do. I literally cannot imagine what might have changed in the 26-ish hours between kissing goodnight and realizing I’m blocked. I can’t even begin to imagine what unspeakably horrible thing I had to do to make him forsake his really strong principles on communication and just ditch me like this.

What do I do in this situation? How do I move on from this? What if I move on and it turns out to be some huge misunderstanding? I’m just so confused and devastated right now and no one in his life is giving me answers bc they say its not their place to get involved.

Submitted April 05, 2023 at 01:14AM

I already shared this in r/relationship_advice but thought I could also get some help here maybe? Idk I’m still just pretty distraught about everything.Warning: This is LONG and I don’t know how to condense it to be any shorter.I don’t know how believable this sounds but my life has honestly turned into a bad Reddit post and I’m still in shock.For context: my boyfriend (Joe) and I have known each other for ~4 years. We were best friends for a year, dated for just over a year, and broke up for abt a year. We broke up the first time because he was struggling with who he was and it seemed like he was going down some dark paths I was uncomfortable with, as well as a general lack of communication. In December I reached out bc I missed having him in my life and we got back together almost immediately.We have been back together for 5-ish months (neither of us kept an exact date bc we’ve already done the whole “count down the months” or whatever) and it’s been nothing short of wonderful. There was great communication and effort on both sides, and things were at an all time high.Saturday, we went to a small comic con with his friends and brother, and it went great! We ended the night on a high note, cuddled a little, kissed goodnight and he said he’d text me when he got home.And then blocked me on everything by the next night.I’m still reeling because like, we had plans this weekend to go to a butterfly exhibit (a date he planned), my birthday was coming up, he ordered a fancy, expensive promise ring, etc. All the signs were there that he fully intended on being together right now.At first I thought maybe he was just crashed out at home because he was exhausted when he left and it was his day off. Then I started to get worried and sent a few “Hey babe, I hope everything is okay. I love you. Please message when you have a chance”’s. I realized I was blocked when I tried to message over discord and it wouldn’t send.But even then I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and sent a “Hey, I’m not trying to jump the gun but are you intentionally ignoring me?” and tried to call (How I realized my number was also blocked.So, like a moron, instead of coming to the conclusion that he had ghosted me, I thought maybe something had happened with his family situation (they don’t like me and have been controlling in the past) so I put a sticky on his car to meet at a nearby location right before he would be leaving for work and it finally sank in that it was him avoiding me willingly when he literally drove the other way to avoid me. I couldn’t believe it at first.Now, 4 days and about 50 unanswered calls later, it’s finally sunk in. I went to his place earlier to ask for my stuff in his car back, and was informed by his dad that he literally skipped town to stay with his other brother 3 hours away.I just, I don’t know what to do. I literally cannot imagine what might have changed in the 26-ish hours between kissing goodnight and realizing I’m blocked. I can’t even begin to imagine what unspeakably horrible thing I had to do to make him forsake his really strong principles on communication and just ditch me like this.What do I do in this situation? How do I move on from this? What if I move on and it turns out to be some huge misunderstanding? I’m just so confused and devastated right now and no one in his life is giving me answers bc they say its not their place to get involved.