How to handle catching feelings so quickly…

A couple of weeks ago I (M23) ran into an old friend at one of the bars. It was her and her sister’s 21st birthday.

Her sister used to date one of my buddies a few years ago and that’s how we met. Her and I talked and flirted a little bit back then. One of my friends wanted me to ask her out and make a move, bc he thought she liked me. I couldn’t tell, as basically every time we were around each other we were drinking. That same friend also liked her, and they became pretty close but I don’t think she felt the same way about him. They’re still close to this day.

I hadn’t seen her in almost two years, since her sister and my friend broke up. We would text each other randomly but super infrequently, just teasing each other and bantering. Only a few times per year.

After I saw her at the bar, we reconnected, and she texted me later in the week about hanging out sometime. Her and I had never spent time by ourselves.

On Friday night, her sister dropped her off at my apartment to have some drinks. It was pretty fun! We were being very flirty, pretty touchy and physical. We sat out on my back porch, it was super nice out and peaceful. We talked about past relationships and what we’re looking for in a relationship. She snuggled up in my lap and we were playing each other our favorite songs. At times I thought we were gonna kiss. I probably should’ve, but we were drinking and I didn’t wanna be too bold. After all, I wasn’t sure how she felt about me.

Anyways, her sister came to pick her up around midnight. She was on her period, otherwise she said she would’ve stayed the night. She said she’d come over again the next day if she was able to. She couldn’t make it because she had to drive a few hours to see a sick family member, and she got back too late.

I texted her suggesting next weekend to hang if we’re both free. She said, “yes, definitely!!”

For some reason, I just feel uneasy/anxious about everything. I feel like her and I took our friendship maybe to the next level, but I’m not sure whether the alcohol took over for her.

Also, I feel like I’m way too excited to see her again. She’s definitely not much of a texter, and I’m not either, but selfishly I want her to not forget about me I guess? I last texted her that I’d reach out to her later this week about maybe hanging out on Friday.

I’m worried about rushing things or getting too caught up. I know that I probably am already, but I want to just play it cool. Any advice on how to handle this situation better?

Fwiw I’ve been seeing someone else who lives 1.5 hours away. It’s pretty casual, and I told this girl the other night about it.

Submitted April 24, 2023 at 01:12AM

A couple of weeks ago I (M23) ran into an old friend at one of the bars. It was her and her sister’s 21st birthday.Her sister used to date one of my buddies a few years ago and that’s how we met. Her and I talked and flirted a little bit back then. One of my friends wanted me to ask her out and make a move, bc he thought she liked me. I couldn’t tell, as basically every time we were around each other we were drinking. That same friend also liked her, and they became pretty close but I don’t think she felt the same way about him. They’re still close to this day.I hadn’t seen her in almost two years, since her sister and my friend broke up. We would text each other randomly but super infrequently, just teasing each other and bantering. Only a few times per year.After I saw her at the bar, we reconnected, and she texted me later in the week about hanging out sometime. Her and I had never spent time by ourselves.On Friday night, her sister dropped her off at my apartment to have some drinks. It was pretty fun! We were being very flirty, pretty touchy and physical. We sat out on my back porch, it was super nice out and peaceful. We talked about past relationships and what we’re looking for in a relationship. She snuggled up in my lap and we were playing each other our favorite songs. At times I thought we were gonna kiss. I probably should’ve, but we were drinking and I didn’t wanna be too bold. After all, I wasn’t sure how she felt about me.Anyways, her sister came to pick her up around midnight. She was on her period, otherwise she said she would’ve stayed the night. She said she’d come over again the next day if she was able to. She couldn’t make it because she had to drive a few hours to see a sick family member, and she got back too late.I texted her suggesting next weekend to hang if we’re both free. She said, “yes, definitely!!”For some reason, I just feel uneasy/anxious about everything. I feel like her and I took our friendship maybe to the next level, but I’m not sure whether the alcohol took over for her.Also, I feel like I’m way too excited to see her again. She’s definitely not much of a texter, and I’m not either, but selfishly I want her to not forget about me I guess? I last texted her that I’d reach out to her later this week about maybe hanging out on Friday.I’m worried about rushing things or getting too caught up. I know that I probably am already, but I want to just play it cool. Any advice on how to handle this situation better?Fwiw I’ve been seeing someone else who lives 1.5 hours away. It’s pretty casual, and I told this girl the other night about it.