Girl I've been on and off with has now updated her dating profile

I (27M) had been seeing a girl (25F) since the beginning of the year. About a month and a half ago, we agreed to stop pursuing a romantic relationship as she was going through some pretty bad mental health issues - her job was giving her anxiety, she was having financial troubles and also had some family issues going on. She also mentioned that she was starting to feel signs of depression again (she had a bout with depression about a year ago when her dad passed away) and so we both agreed that pursuing a relationship was not the best and that we should just be friends.

I was initially sad about the whole situation but I understood and decided to put romantic feelings aside and just be a friend and see what happens one way or the other. We kept conversations up pretty frequently after this all went down, but never really hung out in person. Part of this was due to conflicting work schedules, part was due to her just not feeling up to it. Throughout our conversations, I could definitely tell that she was still not in the best state of mind - work was getting even busier for her and she had some new family issues pop up.

Recently, I decided to put myself back out there and get back on the dating apps and had a few matches. Had recent match and when I went to message this person, I saw her old profile because, well we met on the app. When I looked, her profile had been completely updated, which shocked me.

If she was truly struggling with these mental health issues and her situation was not improving, why is she back on the apps? I feel as though I was lied to one way or the other - either her situation is not nearly as bad as she presented, or she didn't see us as a good fit and just didn't say anything even when I asked for transparency.

I'm pretty mad right now and also pretty hurt. I want to say something but not sure what I can say without coming across as accusatory. Any advice?



Submitted May 01, 2023 at 01:10AM

I (27M) had been seeing a girl (25F) since the beginning of the year. About a month and a half ago, we agreed to stop pursuing a romantic relationship as she was going through some pretty bad mental health issues - her job was giving her anxiety, she was having financial troubles and also had some family issues going on. She also mentioned that she was starting to feel signs of depression again (she had a bout with depression about a year ago when her dad passed away) and so we both agreed that pursuing a relationship was not the best and that we should just be friends. I was initially sad about the whole situation but I understood and decided to put romantic feelings aside and just be a friend and see what happens one way or the other. We kept conversations up pretty frequently after this all went down, but never really hung out in person. Part of this was due to conflicting work schedules, part was due to her just not feeling up to it. Throughout our conversations, I could definitely tell that she was still not in the best state of mind - work was getting even busier for her and she had some new family issues pop up. Recently, I decided to put myself back out there and get back on the dating apps and had a few matches. Had recent match and when I went to message this person, I saw her old profile because, well we met on the app. When I looked, her profile had been completely updated, which shocked me. If she was truly struggling with these mental health issues and her situation was not improving, why is she back on the apps? I feel as though I was lied to one way or the other - either her situation is not nearly as bad as she presented, or she didn't see us as a good fit and just didn't say anything even when I asked for transparency. I'm pretty mad right now and also pretty hurt. I want to say something but not sure what I can say without coming across as accusatory. Any advice?
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