Girl I've been on and off with has now updated her dating profile

I (27M) had been seeing a girl (25F) since the beginning of the year. About a month and a half ago, we agreed to stop pursuing a romantic relationship as she was going through some pretty bad mental health issues - her job was giving her anxiety, she was having financial troubles and also had some family issues going on. She also mentioned that she was starting to feel signs of depression again (she had a bout with depression about a year ago when her dad passed away) and so we both agreed that pursuing a relationship was not the best and that we should just be friends.

I was initially sad about the whole situation but I understood and decided to put romantic feelings aside and just be a friend and see what happens one way or the other. We kept conversations up pretty frequently after this all went down, but never really hung out in person. Part of this was due to conflicting work schedules, part was due to her just not feeling up to it. Throughout our conversations, I could definitely tell that she was still not in the best state of mind - work was getting even busier for her and she had some new family issues pop up.

Recently, I decided to put myself back out there and get back on the dating apps and had a few matches. Had recent match and when I went to message this person, I saw her old profile because, well we met on the app. When I looked, her profile had been completely updated, which shocked me.

If she was truly struggling with these mental health issues and her situation was not improving, why is she back on the apps? I feel as though I was lied to one way or the other - either her situation is not nearly as bad as she presented, or she didn't see us as a good fit and just didn't say anything even when I asked for transparency.

I'm pretty mad right now and also pretty hurt. I want to say something but not sure what I can say without coming across as accusatory. Any advice?



Submitted May 01, 2023 at 01:10AM

I (27M) had been seeing a girl (25F) since the beginning of the year. About a month and a half ago, we agreed to stop pursuing a romantic relationship as she was going through some pretty bad mental health issues - her job was giving her anxiety, she was having financial troubles and also had some family issues going on. She also mentioned that she was starting to feel signs of depression again (she had a bout with depression about a year ago when her dad passed away) and so we both agreed that pursuing a relationship was not the best and that we should just be friends. I was initially sad about the whole situation but I understood and decided to put romantic feelings aside and just be a friend and see what happens one way or the other. We kept conversations up pretty frequently after this all went down, but never really hung out in person. Part of this was due to conflicting work schedules, part was due to her just not feeling up to it. Throughout our conversations, I could definitely tell that she was still not in the best state of mind - work was getting even busier for her and she had some new family issues pop up. Recently, I decided to put myself back out there and get back on the dating apps and had a few matches. Had recent match and when I went to message this person, I saw her old profile because, well we met on the app. When I looked, her profile had been completely updated, which shocked me. If she was truly struggling with these mental health issues and her situation was not improving, why is she back on the apps? I feel as though I was lied to one way or the other - either her situation is not nearly as bad as she presented, or she didn't see us as a good fit and just didn't say anything even when I asked for transparency. I'm pretty mad right now and also pretty hurt. I want to say something but not sure what I can say without coming across as accusatory. Any advice?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more