Dating after weight gain

(31 F) I’ve struggled with my relationship with food and periods of drastic weight gain and loss my whole life. For instance, last year I was in the best shape I’ve likely ever been in, but after some very persistent depressive episodes + other factors, I gained a significant amount of weight back. I know I can get back into shape, but things have been hard and it will take time. My question is, how do you deal with dating when your weight fluctuates? I hope to not deal with this forever, but what if I do? Does it mean I should expect someone to leave as soon as my body changes again? Should I even try to date before I lose the weight? I hold myself back from dating, but as a human there’s a part of me that will always want to love and be loved. I don’t want to end up making someone feel trapped if my body changes, and I don’t want to put myself through another failed fling. I know there are guys that are still interested, because I still get hit on on occasion. But I’ve also noticed that when I’m bigger guys only ever want to hook up, not date me. No public dates, but plenty of wanting to see me in private. It’s all just super discouraging. Genuine advice is definitely appreciated.



Submitted April 14, 2023 at 01:12AM

(31 F) I’ve struggled with my relationship with food and periods of drastic weight gain and loss my whole life. For instance, last year I was in the best shape I’ve likely ever been in, but after some very persistent depressive episodes + other factors, I gained a significant amount of weight back. I know I can get back into shape, but things have been hard and it will take time. My question is, how do you deal with dating when your weight fluctuates? I hope to not deal with this forever, but what if I do? Does it mean I should expect someone to leave as soon as my body changes again? Should I even try to date before I lose the weight? I hold myself back from dating, but as a human there’s a part of me that will always want to love and be loved. I don’t want to end up making someone feel trapped if my body changes, and I don’t want to put myself through another failed fling. I know there are guys that are still interested, because I still get hit on on occasion. But I’ve also noticed that when I’m bigger guys only ever want to hook up, not date me. No public dates, but plenty of wanting to see me in private. It’s all just super discouraging. Genuine advice is definitely appreciated.
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