How to ask about his ex-wife

I 18(f) have been dating Ryan (24M) for three months now. I really like him and I can see a future for the two of us quite easily (he's brought up living together and things like that too)

However, he has been married before and she left him a couple years ago. He hadn't been with anyone after her until me and it's been one of the reasons he was so against going out in the beginning, because she really messed up his self-esteem. Whenever he talks about it (casual conversation) I can tell it hurt him a lot that she left so I always just say things like "I'm right here" or "I've got you"

But I don't know what actually happened. Like I said, she's brought up in causal conversation but that's it. Like, I'll suggest we go to the beach or something and he'll say he's only been a few times with his ex-wife because he doesn't really like the beach. It's very casual but I'd like to know what happened or how he feels about it because I never know what to say.

I'm guessing it's a waiting game until he's comfortable enough to tell me, but any advice on what to do when he brings her up? Or on how to ask questions about her?



Submitted March 28, 2023 at 01:15AM

I 18(f) have been dating Ryan (24M) for three months now. I really like him and I can see a future for the two of us quite easily (he's brought up living together and things like that too)However, he has been married before and she left him a couple years ago. He hadn't been with anyone after her until me and it's been one of the reasons he was so against going out in the beginning, because she really messed up his self-esteem. Whenever he talks about it (casual conversation) I can tell it hurt him a lot that she left so I always just say things like "I'm right here" or "I've got you"But I don't know what actually happened. Like I said, she's brought up in causal conversation but that's it. Like, I'll suggest we go to the beach or something and he'll say he's only been a few times with his ex-wife because he doesn't really like the beach. It's very casual but I'd like to know what happened or how he feels about it because I never know what to say.I'm guessing it's a waiting game until he's comfortable enough to tell me, but any advice on what to do when he brings her up? Or on how to ask questions about her?
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