34F is he just not that into me?

Met 37M on Hinge. He's done all the asking out. He doesn't text me a lot and 70% of the time its hours wait for response but never longer than a day. But it's 50/50 on text initiation. No calls to chat but I'm not a phone call person.

Date timeline: We met up for coffee for an hour with a time limit of me starting work. Had lots to talk about. That progressed to a bike ride date where I initiated the ending so he could make a friend's party. He prepared snacks for the trip. I let him borrow a tech device of mine. We had lots to talk about. We had a hike. He prepared snacks for the trip. Met up at 11 am. Hiked until 1:30 pm. Stayed at a coffee shop until 9:30 pm then sat in his car until 10:30 pm chatting. I asked him his goals in life, and he says he's working on that right now. But his hinge says, 'looking for a wife.' Contradiction. The most we have done is hugged. I like him. I wanted to kiss him. I texted him the day after the hike (in hindsight, a bad idea) that I wanted to kiss him and maybe we could do that the next time we see each other. Almost a full day later, he responded, 'in a hurry?' I responded saying I'm inpatient and short on free time so evaluating my time spend and trying to gauge him. Never got the response (i.e., into you, feeling it out or not really). Based on stories he's told, he's not good at being direct. He also said all his breakups weren't mutual, wouldn't say if he was the dumper or dumpee, and didn't know why the breakup happened.

Is he just not that into me?

There is a chance I'm being anxious as he's a great personality fit for me and we have similar life wants (i.e., start a business with a partner, and live rural). Or maybe he seems distant because he doesn't really feel it. It doesn't seem like he's dating tons and I never see him online on Hinge. But there is some room for him to be talking to 1 other person, based on what I know. I want to ask him to hike again as it was fun but my bad-dating-advice friend said he's just not sexually into me or he would have made a move and I should find other people to hike with.

Brutal honesty?



Submitted March 03, 2023 at 01:15AM

Met 37M on Hinge. He's done all the asking out. He doesn't text me a lot and 70% of the time its hours wait for response but never longer than a day. But it's 50/50 on text initiation. No calls to chat but I'm not a phone call person.Date timeline: We met up for coffee for an hour with a time limit of me starting work. Had lots to talk about. That progressed to a bike ride date where I initiated the ending so he could make a friend's party. He prepared snacks for the trip. I let him borrow a tech device of mine. We had lots to talk about. We had a hike. He prepared snacks for the trip. Met up at 11 am. Hiked until 1:30 pm. Stayed at a coffee shop until 9:30 pm then sat in his car until 10:30 pm chatting. I asked him his goals in life, and he says he's working on that right now. But his hinge says, 'looking for a wife.' Contradiction. The most we have done is hugged. I like him. I wanted to kiss him. I texted him the day after the hike (in hindsight, a bad idea) that I wanted to kiss him and maybe we could do that the next time we see each other. Almost a full day later, he responded, 'in a hurry?' I responded saying I'm inpatient and short on free time so evaluating my time spend and trying to gauge him. Never got the response (i.e., into you, feeling it out or not really). Based on stories he's told, he's not good at being direct. He also said all his breakups weren't mutual, wouldn't say if he was the dumper or dumpee, and didn't know why the breakup happened.Is he just not that into me?There is a chance I'm being anxious as he's a great personality fit for me and we have similar life wants (i.e., start a business with a partner, and live rural). Or maybe he seems distant because he doesn't really feel it. It doesn't seem like he's dating tons and I never see him online on Hinge. But there is some room for him to be talking to 1 other person, based on what I know. I want to ask him to hike again as it was fun but my bad-dating-advice friend said he's just not sexually into me or he would have made a move and I should find other people to hike with.Brutal honesty?
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