I had major foot surgery that resulted in 10-14 broken bones in one foot. My fiancé is complaining that I’m lazy

Sorry for any errors, I’m on mobile. For some context: My fiancé (31m) moved into my (26f) place a year and a half ago. We have been engaged for 2.5 years and have been dating for about 4 years.

For my post: Mid last week, I told him I would clean parts of the apartment before my surgery, but became overwhelmed with everything happening (I’m in college full time, 8-9hrs Mondays and Tuesdays-Fridays, 5hrs Tuesdays, as well as working two part time jobs on weekday evenings and weekends). I only was able to clean the bathroom and reorganize half of the kitchen.

My surgery was on Friday and I had to pick up my pain meds after I got home. He does not drive. I told him I would walk to the pharmacy (typically 7-10mins walking each way), he told me no and he was not planning on going out once we got home. I ended up asking my mom to drive me to my normal pharmacy (20mins drive each way) and we waited for my meds which took about an hour, then she drove me home. My niece came over yesterday morning and stayed until this afternoon. She really helped me out, and we walked to the plaza with the pharmacy to pick up ice (they don’t sell any), so we walked to the gas station (they sold out of ice 2 days ago). We got half a bag of ice from the bottom of the bin. This whole thing took over 2 hours). I came home in a ton of pain. Today, my fiancé was going to do his laundry and I mentioned I had to do mine. He ended up taking mine as well. I told him I can do it tomorrow, he smiled, took my laundry and huffed as he walked out the door.

His is now making me feel awful because I can’t just get up and do my own things. I woke up at 2am in extreme pain and he was gaming so I asked him to bring me Advil. This afternoon, he got mad because he went in the bedroom to change and I asked him to bring my phone charger out when he comes out. He’s been hugging and puffing about everything he has to do (even putting his own laundry away and when he started making his own dinner. I told him I have a dinner already prepped). I know I need to do more around the apartment, but my foot is broken in more than 10 places and I cannot weight bear and require crutches at all times.

I want to talk to him about it but he has gotten upset the last few times I’ve tried.

I don’t know if I should ask my dad if I can stay with him and his wife for a week or something as they are more empathetic. They would have to drive to pick me up and they live about 25 minutes away taking the highway.

If I need to clarify anything, please let me know and I’ll do my best.

TLDR: My fiancé is complaining that I’m not following through on chores around the apartment. After surgery, I am unable to do any chores. He’s making me feel awful about it. I don’t know if I should try and stay with someone for a week or so.

Submitted February 27, 2023 at 12:16AM

Sorry for any errors, I’m on mobile. For some context: My fiancé (31m) moved into my (26f) place a year and a half ago. We have been engaged for 2.5 years and have been dating for about 4 years.For my post: Mid last week, I told him I would clean parts of the apartment before my surgery, but became overwhelmed with everything happening (I’m in college full time, 8-9hrs Mondays and Tuesdays-Fridays, 5hrs Tuesdays, as well as working two part time jobs on weekday evenings and weekends). I only was able to clean the bathroom and reorganize half of the kitchen.My surgery was on Friday and I had to pick up my pain meds after I got home. He does not drive. I told him I would walk to the pharmacy (typically 7-10mins walking each way), he told me no and he was not planning on going out once we got home. I ended up asking my mom to drive me to my normal pharmacy (20mins drive each way) and we waited for my meds which took about an hour, then she drove me home. My niece came over yesterday morning and stayed until this afternoon. She really helped me out, and we walked to the plaza with the pharmacy to pick up ice (they don’t sell any), so we walked to the gas station (they sold out of ice 2 days ago). We got half a bag of ice from the bottom of the bin. This whole thing took over 2 hours). I came home in a ton of pain. Today, my fiancé was going to do his laundry and I mentioned I had to do mine. He ended up taking mine as well. I told him I can do it tomorrow, he smiled, took my laundry and huffed as he walked out the door.His is now making me feel awful because I can’t just get up and do my own things. I woke up at 2am in extreme pain and he was gaming so I asked him to bring me Advil. This afternoon, he got mad because he went in the bedroom to change and I asked him to bring my phone charger out when he comes out. He’s been hugging and puffing about everything he has to do (even putting his own laundry away and when he started making his own dinner. I told him I have a dinner already prepped). I know I need to do more around the apartment, but my foot is broken in more than 10 places and I cannot weight bear and require crutches at all times.I want to talk to him about it but he has gotten upset the last few times I’ve tried.I don’t know if I should ask my dad if I can stay with him and his wife for a week or something as they are more empathetic. They would have to drive to pick me up and they live about 25 minutes away taking the highway.If I need to clarify anything, please let me know and I’ll do my best.TLDR: My fiancé is complaining that I’m not following through on chores around the apartment. After surgery, I am unable to do any chores. He’s making me feel awful about it. I don’t know if I should try and stay with someone for a week or so.