I feel like the more relationship you have, the less likely you can build a long lasting relationship.

I've been thinking, and the more I date, the less likely I can build a long lasting relationship.

If I only had 1 girlfriend before, I'm more likely to forgive or to have more empathy towards certain behaviours (give the benefit of the doubt, have the more positive assumptions towards someone when they do something)... But now that I've dated a couple people, I always assume the worst, and it's mostly not even consciously, because I recall some things that happened in previous relationship and I think ''red flag''.

I've spoken with some friends and acquaintance about this and they told me ''That just mean you know what you want now'', but I don't see it that way. Maybe the person I don't give the benefit of the doubt to didn't actually have bad intentions, maybe she just didn't know any better ... But because I've already ''sucked it up'' for someone else I'm not willing to do it anymore and those (potentially) great women don't get their fair chance. And I'm sure other people are doing it to me to, both in romantic relationship but also in friendship. There's plenty of people I've cut contact, deleted from facebook or whatever because they said or posted something I didn't like and I just assumed the worst out of it.

How does everyone navigate relationships now with this reality ? When I was a kid I remember looking forward to being with the same women for 25 years, 50 years and so on just like my parents, but now I'm in my late 20s and I don't see it happening. If you're not religious how do you find someone that want to build a lifelong relationship with ? People break up over the pettiest stuff these days, everyone tells you ''I love you and I want to be together forever'' but it's almost always a lie, there's so many people getting divorced instead of compromising or finding a solution, you can't trust anyone.

Submitted January 09, 2023 at 01:15AM

I've been thinking, and the more I date, the less likely I can build a long lasting relationship.If I only had 1 girlfriend before, I'm more likely to forgive or to have more empathy towards certain behaviours (give the benefit of the doubt, have the more positive assumptions towards someone when they do something)... But now that I've dated a couple people, I always assume the worst, and it's mostly not even consciously, because I recall some things that happened in previous relationship and I think ''red flag''.I've spoken with some friends and acquaintance about this and they told me ''That just mean you know what you want now'', but I don't see it that way. Maybe the person I don't give the benefit of the doubt to didn't actually have bad intentions, maybe she just didn't know any better ... But because I've already ''sucked it up'' for someone else I'm not willing to do it anymore and those (potentially) great women don't get their fair chance. And I'm sure other people are doing it to me to, both in romantic relationship but also in friendship. There's plenty of people I've cut contact, deleted from facebook or whatever because they said or posted something I didn't like and I just assumed the worst out of it.How does everyone navigate relationships now with this reality ? When I was a kid I remember looking forward to being with the same women for 25 years, 50 years and so on just like my parents, but now I'm in my late 20s and I don't see it happening. If you're not religious how do you find someone that want to build a lifelong relationship with ? People break up over the pettiest stuff these days, everyone tells you ''I love you and I want to be together forever'' but it's almost always a lie, there's so many people getting divorced instead of compromising or finding a solution, you can't trust anyone.