I know you’ll call me stupid.. but what was this?

I guess when this happened, it was somewhere between abuse and lovebombing. My abusive ex oscillated between those two at the speed of light.

And it was after a fight when I was close to breaking up with him. He had blown up my inbox and said: “no, you misunderstood me! I don’t wanna lose you! We are soul mates” Bla bla bla.

When I forgave him and everything was “good again”, he said that he wanted to take me on a nice and romantic trip. It was very fun and passionate.

Well, in the next morning when we were in our way home and I was extremely happy about the trip, he just smirked in the car and gave me money.

I just couldn’t believe what he did and he kept on smirking and just said: “I wanted to give you what you deserve after this amazing sex holiday”. And he had this blank and serious look on his face.

I immediately got out of the car and that was when he hugged me from behind, kissed me on my cheek and said that it was just a bad joke.

Just to give you background information: in the months before we went on that trip, I was very depressed and got heavily medicated and that made me severely dissociate. It’s only after the break up and since I stopped the heavy medication that I realize how crazy all of this was. So do not judge me please!

Did he degrade me on purpose? Was it just a stupid joke? For your information:during the holiday, he was somewhat aggressive but also very loving towards me, we Skyped with his mum (first time I saw her).

But I have this gut feeling that he likes to hurt me.. there was another time that he smirked like that when i accidentally burnt my mouth or was hurt by another comment that he made.

Whenever I’m with him, I just feel like my mind gets fucked. It feels as if my brain is just a hot soup.



Submitted October 16, 2022 at 12:15AM

I guess when this happened, it was somewhere between abuse and lovebombing. My abusive ex oscillated between those two at the speed of light.And it was after a fight when I was close to breaking up with him. He had blown up my inbox and said: “no, you misunderstood me! I don’t wanna lose you! We are soul mates” Bla bla bla.When I forgave him and everything was “good again”, he said that he wanted to take me on a nice and romantic trip. It was very fun and passionate.Well, in the next morning when we were in our way home and I was extremely happy about the trip, he just smirked in the car and gave me money.I just couldn’t believe what he did and he kept on smirking and just said: “I wanted to give you what you deserve after this amazing sex holiday”. And he had this blank and serious look on his face.I immediately got out of the car and that was when he hugged me from behind, kissed me on my cheek and said that it was just a bad joke.Just to give you background information: in the months before we went on that trip, I was very depressed and got heavily medicated and that made me severely dissociate. It’s only after the break up and since I stopped the heavy medication that I realize how crazy all of this was. So do not judge me please!Did he degrade me on purpose? Was it just a stupid joke? For your information:during the holiday, he was somewhat aggressive but also very loving towards me, we Skyped with his mum (first time I saw her).But I have this gut feeling that he likes to hurt me.. there was another time that he smirked like that when i accidentally burnt my mouth or was hurt by another comment that he made.Whenever I’m with him, I just feel like my mind gets fucked. It feels as if my brain is just a hot soup.
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