I brought overnight essentials on a first date, date wasn't sure how to feel about that.

So the other day I (M31) went on a date with a woman (F32) I met on Hinge. We had a lot of fun, she was easy to talk to, and I think she's fucking pretty, we seem to have similar views on topics close to my heart. So, I ended up spending the night at hers. Next morning I pull some fresh clothes for my bag. At that moment she realizes Ive brought toiletries and a change of clothes, in case we would indeed end up spendIng the night together. She said it came across as presumtious, she further reflected that she wasn't sure whether that's a negative thing. I then said that the reason I brought these items wasnt because she came across as ,easy' or 'cheap' during our online chats.I brought them because I'd rather have them and not need them than need them and not have them. We'd decided on a second date near the end of the first, so it must not have been a major red flag for her.

Two points for clarrification 1) Date-related items I brought were: Change of clothes, toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, eau the toilette, stuff for my contactlenzes, condoms. (Not in order of appearance haha) 2) I dont bring an overnightset on every date I go on, since spending the night woth someone is not a goal in and of itsself for me. I try and weigh my mood, my schedule for the next day, perceived chance of actually getting invited back to his/her place.

This situation got her a major green flag in my book because she remarked on something related to my behaviour she found odd/weird/sucpicious. The way she brought it up was very non-confrontational and the resulting talk was constructieve.

One thing I realized travelling back the next day: I'd say about 80% of my days i plan between Monday and Friday. This particular date was a Saturday. So my theory is that when someone arrives to a date with a backpack, the other person will assume it's a pack used for work and the person carrying said bag has come directly from work. But on a Saturday where I had already told my date my shift finished a couple hours before our date, I dont have that 'excuse'.

So i suppose my question is: If you find out someone has taken into account that you might spend the night together and has come prepared accordingly, how would that make you feel?/what would you think about the person bringing the backpack,?

Submitted October 09, 2022 at 12:13AM

So the other day I (M31) went on a date with a woman (F32) I met on Hinge. We had a lot of fun, she was easy to talk to, and I think she's fucking pretty, we seem to have similar views on topics close to my heart. So, I ended up spending the night at hers. Next morning I pull some fresh clothes for my bag. At that moment she realizes Ive brought toiletries and a change of clothes, in case we would indeed end up spendIng the night together. She said it came across as presumtious, she further reflected that she wasn't sure whether that's a negative thing. I then said that the reason I brought these items wasnt because she came across as ,easy' or 'cheap' during our online chats.I brought them because I'd rather have them and not need them than need them and not have them. We'd decided on a second date near the end of the first, so it must not have been a major red flag for her.Two points for clarrification 1) Date-related items I brought were: Change of clothes, toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, eau the toilette, stuff for my contactlenzes, condoms. (Not in order of appearance haha) 2) I dont bring an overnightset on every date I go on, since spending the night woth someone is not a goal in and of itsself for me. I try and weigh my mood, my schedule for the next day, perceived chance of actually getting invited back to his/her place.This situation got her a major green flag in my book because she remarked on something related to my behaviour she found odd/weird/sucpicious. The way she brought it up was very non-confrontational and the resulting talk was constructieve.One thing I realized travelling back the next day: I'd say about 80% of my days i plan between Monday and Friday. This particular date was a Saturday. So my theory is that when someone arrives to a date with a backpack, the other person will assume it's a pack used for work and the person carrying said bag has come directly from work. But on a Saturday where I had already told my date my shift finished a couple hours before our date, I dont have that 'excuse'.So i suppose my question is: If you find out someone has taken into account that you might spend the night together and has come prepared accordingly, how would that make you feel?/what would you think about the person bringing the backpack,?