Not sure what to learn from all this

I M19 started texting this girl F19. We had previously met at a party. Conversation via text was good, i was asking questions she was asking questions. Her replies were quick and detailed and she seemed to be putting in effort. After a few days of texting i asked her out, and she said she’s busy. That’s bad i know.

I waited a couple of days and asked her out again and she said yes. When we met at first she initiated a hug. We were together for around 3 hours. I was really really nervous during the date and it seemed to me that i didn’t put in much effort. It seemed to me that she put in most of the effort in asking the questions. I may have given her the wrong impression. I talked to her as a friend not a romantic partner. While we were together her legs were facing me and she had open body language if that’s improtant :)

After the date i messaged her about having had a great time and she just liked the message. Fast forward a couple of days i asked her out on a 2nd date and she said she was busy. I called her last night just to hear the final answer from her and she said: “I wouldn’t say it’s specifically about you, but i mean we had absolutely nothing in common”; “We can hangout only when other people are around” (as in a group setting)

I mean it’s clearly over but i’m just not sure what i did so wrong. She seemed so interested in me as a person when we were together.

She even knew things about me i hadn’t told her and she remembered small details which i shared via text. I liked her as a person and i blew it.

Taking this as a experience but now i’m doubting whether she actually ever liked me. And it’s killing me inside i didn’t put in more effort or make my intentions more clear.



Submitted August 06, 2022 at 12:05AM

I M19 started texting this girl F19. We had previously met at a party. Conversation via text was good, i was asking questions she was asking questions. Her replies were quick and detailed and she seemed to be putting in effort. After a few days of texting i asked her out, and she said she’s busy. That’s bad i know.I waited a couple of days and asked her out again and she said yes. When we met at first she initiated a hug. We were together for around 3 hours. I was really really nervous during the date and it seemed to me that i didn’t put in much effort. It seemed to me that she put in most of the effort in asking the questions. I may have given her the wrong impression. I talked to her as a friend not a romantic partner. While we were together her legs were facing me and she had open body language if that’s improtant :)After the date i messaged her about having had a great time and she just liked the message. Fast forward a couple of days i asked her out on a 2nd date and she said she was busy. I called her last night just to hear the final answer from her and she said: “I wouldn’t say it’s specifically about you, but i mean we had absolutely nothing in common”; “We can hangout only when other people are around” (as in a group setting)I mean it’s clearly over but i’m just not sure what i did so wrong. She seemed so interested in me as a person when we were together.She even knew things about me i hadn’t told her and she remembered small details which i shared via text. I liked her as a person and i blew it.Taking this as a experience but now i’m doubting whether she actually ever liked me. And it’s killing me inside i didn’t put in more effort or make my intentions more clear.
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