I’m (28F) having a hard time giving him (29M) space- help

We have known each other for about 3-4 years, starting off as friends that have slowly developed to more. One thing led to another and we have been living together for a little over 6 months. The last few weeks or so we’ve been having a really hard time. Due to some explosive family drama on my end(a clingy, controlling, borderline abusive, ill parent causing problems), he moved out. Not by choice, but necessity.

It’s definitely been a downswing for us. I’ve been incredibly anxious, angry, and stressed while trying to sort my life out in the aftermath. We’ve been fighting non-stop.

He asked for space, but given how abrupt and chaotic everything has been, I’ve been having a hard time giving him that and he’s been angry with me. I know it hasn’t helped the situation at all. I have some major childhood trauma and family dynamic issues I’ve been trying to work through independently and with counseling. I have a long way to go, but I am trying.

This whole situation has triggered some abandonment issues in me and I’m having a hard time giving him the space he needs. I’m fearful that this is the end of things and that he doesn’t want me anymore. This has been really hard on the both of us. I love him and I know he loves me. I know the break/space is necessary. Could use some advice, words of encouragement, etc. Thank you.



Submitted July 19, 2022 at 12:15AM

We have known each other for about 3-4 years, starting off as friends that have slowly developed to more. One thing led to another and we have been living together for a little over 6 months. The last few weeks or so we’ve been having a really hard time. Due to some explosive family drama on my end(a clingy, controlling, borderline abusive, ill parent causing problems), he moved out. Not by choice, but necessity.It’s definitely been a downswing for us. I’ve been incredibly anxious, angry, and stressed while trying to sort my life out in the aftermath. We’ve been fighting non-stop.He asked for space, but given how abrupt and chaotic everything has been, I’ve been having a hard time giving him that and he’s been angry with me. I know it hasn’t helped the situation at all. I have some major childhood trauma and family dynamic issues I’ve been trying to work through independently and with counseling. I have a long way to go, but I am trying.This whole situation has triggered some abandonment issues in me and I’m having a hard time giving him the space he needs. I’m fearful that this is the end of things and that he doesn’t want me anymore. This has been really hard on the both of us. I love him and I know he loves me. I know the break/space is necessary. Could use some advice, words of encouragement, etc. Thank you.
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