I noticed a pattern developing

So over the past several years I’ve gone out with a good handful of different people. recently I was going out with a girl for about month and it was going really well. We had pretty good chemistry, similar sense of humor and she had been giving me the amount of attention I had been craving which was right in that sweet spot of not too little but not too much. I was really excited to see where things went with her.

But then out of the blue she texts me basically saying “hey sorry I got lot going on in my life right now and I I’ve been thinking it over, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now I’m sorry”. I ended up calling her because I hate it when shit ends over text and we got into a little bit more. She said that I was the nicest guy she has ever dated and that there was nothing wrong with me but for some reason the feelings just weren’t there and she didn’t want to lead me on. I don’t have any reason to believe she was trying to save me from hurt feelings either by saying stuff like that, even with brand new partners I like to be really open and honest with them so I can build that trust from the get go. But needless to say I’m pretty bummed out.

Here’s the kicker

This is not the first time I’ve been in this exact situation. I’ve probably had little month long relationships like this 5 times over the past 2 years. It’s going great and then just when I’m starting to really like them I get hit with “I’m not ready” and it always for a variety of reasons but I can’t help but feel like I’m unknowingly playing a part. I’m only 20 so maybe people my age just aren’t ready to commit idk

Does anyone have advice on how to prevent getting into these situations? Or is it just blind luck?



Submitted June 22, 2022 at 12:03AM

So over the past several years I’ve gone out with a good handful of different people. recently I was going out with a girl for about month and it was going really well. We had pretty good chemistry, similar sense of humor and she had been giving me the amount of attention I had been craving which was right in that sweet spot of not too little but not too much. I was really excited to see where things went with her.But then out of the blue she texts me basically saying “hey sorry I got lot going on in my life right now and I I’ve been thinking it over, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now I’m sorry”. I ended up calling her because I hate it when shit ends over text and we got into a little bit more. She said that I was the nicest guy she has ever dated and that there was nothing wrong with me but for some reason the feelings just weren’t there and she didn’t want to lead me on. I don’t have any reason to believe she was trying to save me from hurt feelings either by saying stuff like that, even with brand new partners I like to be really open and honest with them so I can build that trust from the get go. But needless to say I’m pretty bummed out.Here’s the kickerThis is not the first time I’ve been in this exact situation. I’ve probably had little month long relationships like this 5 times over the past 2 years. It’s going great and then just when I’m starting to really like them I get hit with “I’m not ready” and it always for a variety of reasons but I can’t help but feel like I’m unknowingly playing a part. I’m only 20 so maybe people my age just aren’t ready to commit idkDoes anyone have advice on how to prevent getting into these situations? Or is it just blind luck?
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