/u/deFrederic on Am I asexual? Grey asexual?

Feeling a bit alienated by common allosexual behaviour is something many asexuals experience, while I would assume that it's uncommon for allos. And yes, it appears that "I kinda want to bang the person I just saw for the first time" is a common allo experience.

From what information you gave us, I do not believe your experiences with that guy could give you a fear from relationships so deep that it would explain the lack of crushes and attraction. I'd assume that even if a bad experience caused a kind of fear of relationships, it wouldn't change your ability to feel attraction. Meanwhile, the scenario, that you had a bad experience, because you didn't have the feelings nor knowledge to handle the situation due to not feeling the way others do, seems quite logical in my opinion.

Masturbating and appeciating sexual content can be part of an asexual experience. Actually it's probably what many aegosexuals experience (Glossary, if you need). Not every football fan wants to engage in a game.

Wanting to fall in love, but it's not happening, sounds bitter to me. (Again, I would expect it to be the other way round, if it was because of bad experiences. Falling in love and fear a relationship could be explained by a bad experience, I do not see that logic apply for the other way round.) Maybe you want to take a look at the terms 'cupioromantic' and 'demiromantic'.

As already written by someone else, you have to choose the terms that describe your identity yourself. But from what you wrote, I'd say there are indications that this is the right community to look for people who feel similar.





April 25, 2022 at 11:39PM
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